#Sexual Health

To Get Horny Is Human: Let’s Shed The Stigma Around Female Pleasure

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Do women get horny? Of course, they do. It’s only a healthy, human expression of sexual desire. This is a no-brainer. The question is, do women have a level-playing field to manifest that horniness? Are we comfortable with the idea of them being horny?

Journalist Daniel Bergner in his book What Women Want? by quoting research reveals that women can be equally (if not more) horny than men. They might find it difficult because one cannot easily strip female desire from its social context and the cultural setting.

Women get horny, yes, and the sooner society accepts it as fact as easily as it does male horniness and pleasure, the closer we’ll be to equality in sexual expression. But, since everything about female pleasure is deemed to be as enigmatic as the G-spot, let’s begin at the basics.

What does it mean to be horny?

Female horniness refers to a woman’s sexual desires and feelings of arousal. It may change throughout the month because the hormones related to her menstrual cycle may fluctuate over time. This often increases or decreases her libido, ie, sex drive.

Our bodies know!

A woman’s own body decides when, how and whether she will be horny. Dr. Nivedita spoke with SheThePeople and explained the hormonal changes in estrogen and progesterone which lead to sexual arousal.

She said, “Women feel horny when they have high amount of estrogen in their body and this usually happens when they are ovulating. So around day 13-15 of their cycle, they are horniest and they have a high estrogen level.”

Importance of period sex

Dr. Nivedita further stated that women can also feel really horny after or the day their period has begun.

This is because when they are PMSing or before their period, the progesterone is actually high and when it drops, they have the period. That is when the estrogen level again comes back to a normal range and they feel horny around that range.

Having sex during the periods can not just be fun, but pain-relieving too. Here’s your 101 guide to period sex.

How the mind controls female pleasure when women get horny

The social conditioning does play a big role in preventing us from following our desires. Here are some reasons why women women are uncomfortable with embracing their sex drive.

1. The myth of sex being for reproduction only

Women are told not to be sexually active before marriage and once they have had children after marriage, there’s no need for it. With this belief fed into their head, they think of sex as being necessary only for reproduction and not pleasure or a bodily desire. Therefore, they hesitate to accept the fact that sex can exist outside of reproduction too.

2. Sex shaming

Shame is closely linked to sex in our society. We are made to believe that it is only prostitutes or ‘bad girls’ who love sex or that it is a “male thing”. How can it be a man’s thing alone though?

Many of us are taught that women should not have sex outside the bounds of love or marriage. Next, we are told if a woman has lots of sex and enjoys it too, is a slut. But isn’t sex something that’s supposed to be pleasurable? What’s wrong with enjoying it then? On the other hand, if men have too much sex, they are thought of as “real” men. If hypocrisy had a definition…

3. We don’t talk about it

Women are shy to talk about sex and female pleasure among themselves. Even when we do so, we do it in whispers in order to avoid being judged. Thus, it remains a big taboo. Surprisingly, men openly talk about their sexual experiences and often in a way that is degrading to women.

4. Dismissing women’s desires

A lot of people call women’s bodies a “mystery” and dismiss their desires. But that is simply because we don’t hold enough conversations regarding our sexual desires and pleasure. Pleasing women is not hard. One just needs to ask and maybe follow a few instructions. Here are five ways to claim pleasure in bed.¬†

5. Lack of sex education in schools

Apart from a few awkward classes on reproduction, we are never given any formal sex education in our schools. When should we learn about pleasure, masturbation, consent and equality in sexual experiences? Sex education should be a part of the curriculum at every school. That’s how we can learn to be responsible about our bodies and not rely on untrustworthy sources for it.

A woman’s sexual urges are not dirty. They are just human. It is just the stigma attached to sex and female pleasure that makes us think of arousal as something unnatural. If at any point you begin to feel, ‘good girls don’t get horny’, just say to yourself, “If I wasn’t supposed to get turned on, then I wouldn’t have gotten turned on in the first place.”