'Being Single Isn't...': Shahana Goswami On Rethinking Traditional Relationships

Relationships today have come a long way from heteronormative structures, prioritising individuality, emotional compatibility, and personal goals. Beyond the symbolism that comes with age-old marital customs, people today are navigating commitment and sex on their own terms. In a recent Rulebreaker Show episode, actress Shahana Goswami shared her take on modern relationships, love, and identity. She spoke to Shaili Chopra, founder of SheThePeople and Gytree, about looking beyond societal expectations and embracing the fluidity of connection.

Shahana Goswami On The Rulebreaker Show

Shahana Goswami shared her take on the institution of marriage, asserting how there is a need to rethink relationships beyond a predefined box. "There is a need to reevaluate, because I think it's something that we've ended up passing down generationally as a fixed construct. There hasn't actually been a conversation or discussion around it," she said.

"Marriage has always been talked about as a partnership between two people that is exclusive—sexually, emotionally, and in terms of being in each other's lives, building a life together, and having children. There is no other construct of marriage that is ever being discussed," Goswami noted.

Goswami also pointed out the separation between love and marriage, saying, "Love is one thing and marriage is another thing... Marriage can be based on a personal connection, but it can also be for other reasons like the practicality of life or creating a family dynamic... but in every case, it still needs a conversation around our needs and expectations."

On Modern Relationships

Shahana Goswami acknowledged that the notion of marriage is slowly changing in the modern world, with people embracing institutions like open marriage or polyamoury. However, she believes there is still a deep lack of nuance in the larger part of society. "Are we even asking ourselves [our needs] or is [marriage] a default mode?" she questioned.

"Even relationships... I think many people jump into relationships out of habit. I don't think they ask themselves every time, 'What exactly am I looking for right now? How much, in what degree, in what capacity, how would I want it to go?' It's not there because there is a narrative about relationships, and the contrary being loneliness."

Goswami aptly described how being single is perceived as 'incomplete'. She added, "But I think this has been changing a lot, which is why I also like talking about this aspect of my life. I feel like it's evolved a lot. When I was young, my greatest relationships were my friendships because that's the one equation where you put no conditions on each other."

For Goswami, friendships have been fulfilling as they have helped her "constantly grow, evolve, and learn to understand each other." She said, "Every friendship is different. It is not the kind of cookie-cutter mould where every friendship is the same. The way you show up in each friendship is different. And the base of each friendship is trust and love."

Through this conversation, Shahana Goswami urges viewers to look beyond traditional relationships and conventional expectations to seek independence. She shared how these are the kinds of roles she likes to portray in her films, be they Santosh or Zwigato.  In a world that champions rigid norms, Goswami encourages people to own their individual stories and narratives.