An Open Letter To My Safe Space: The Friends I Call 'Home'

I laugh, I dance, I cry.
In the beauty of enamoured life, I try but can never forge a lie
Lost in the trances of perfectionism, they know every tear I shed,
My friends who never complain
Even when I rant again and again about the silent rumblings, my soul has bled.

To the ones I draw my quiet strength from, to the ones I call my 'querencia', my safe space- this one is for you. The quietness of life often fascinates me. It is a space where time stands still, where reflections outnumber wins, where there are more echoes of your loud thoughts than the joy of togetherness, where life feels like a bane rather than it feels like a boon. 

There are times when we feel on the zenith of our life, having it all in place- the life, the career, the relationships, mental and emotional health working out in our best favour. These are days when we rarely need reassurance, when we don't need anyone to tell us we are doing well. And somehow these are also the days where people remind us of how good we are doing, stay with us closely, to rub off on our light, to gain their benefit and reckon how far things are yet to start going downhill. 

Success and victories often invite a large crowd of people who want to associate with your light. But when the night falls, when the sun gets lost amidst the dark clouds, when everything in your life loses its hold, ask yourself, “Who are the ones who stand by my side then? Who holds me accountable? Who listens to my rants? Who reminds me of my worth? Who makes life a better place to live just by being in your life? 

An open letter to my safe space

When I close my eyes, it reminds me of only a few true friends who I know have been there for me. As someone who overthinks a lot, who is intense, who dives deeper into the nuances of everyday life, I know how there are times when I need reassurance, where I need to know that I am doing good and I am on the right path in life. I would not talk to anyone about my deeper truths except for my friends, where I know I am in a space where I will not be judged and be held with the gentlest of embraces. 

I have been through traumatic memories that made me question the existential stride of my quest, that encapsulated gloom that could not be easily shaken off, but I smile in gratitude knowing I had the ones I hold close, my girlies, who held me in nights when I couldn't face myself and cried with me, gave the hope that light still finds me, that there is hope still left and when I am with them, nothing can harm me.

In a world that bleeds me dry, when home does not feel like home and when I do not know who I am, I know you are the ones I run to, who become my abode and who hold the mirror to me, to see my truest self. If love ever finds me, may it find me in the form of my you, my best female friends, who make me feel safe, loved, cherished, secured, and most importantly, at peace. So when life feels like I am burning the midnight oil, it is the days where you become the strength I need, the comfort that I seek and the assurance that keeps me going. 

So this one is for all my friends who are my querencia- the place where I draw my strength from. I hope you know how much I love you and how beautiful my life is because you simply coexist in it with me. 

You make me the fierce, confident, sensitive and honest woman I am today. I hope you know that.
To the friendships that feel like a warm hug, to the ones who feel like an eternal embrace,
To all my girlfriends, I hope your world radiates with joy and dreams that your heart yearns to chase. 

This open letter is authored by Hridya Sharma. Views expressed by the author are their own.