'Miss You' Texts & Hour-Long Calls: Long Distance Friendships Deserve Love Too

Ever had those kinds of friends who matter much more than people you see every day? The friendships where you keep saying, “I miss you” without any romantic love involved; The friendships where your conversations start at “when are you coming back” and end at “you should come here too.” The kind of friends who make conscious efforts to stay close despite being in a different city or time zone.

Just me, my bestie, and distance

Having friends is a blessing, but when that blessing becomes only telephonic, you lose the human touch, the in-real-life feels, the presence, the hangouts. To be honest, one of the hardest things in life is when your favourite person isn’t just a short walk or quick ride away anymore. 

You go from seeing each other all the time, making random plans, or just doing nothing together to counting time zones, waiting on replies, and lowkey missing the way they laugh in real life. The only source of connection you have then is texts and calls.

Important days like birthdays are experienced together, but this time it’s on video calls. It’s like staying excited for birthdays just like before, but more. It’s funny how on birthdays, you joke about not getting invited even though deep down, you know that if you lived in the same city, you’d be the one planning the whole thing for them. The decorations, the cake, the surprises that would’ve been all you.

And then there are those random moments, like when you’re crying in the middle of the day and your first instinct is to call your best friend, because they’re the one who always gets it. But when you do call, they’re like, “I’m at work, can I call you back?” and all you get is a “You can text tho.” And yeah, it’s not their fault. Life happens. But damn! In that moment, it just hits differently.

Making long-distance friendships work

It’s when you see something random that reminds you of them, like a meme, a song, a place, or even a street sign with angel numbers on it and without thinking, you snap a pic and send it like, “this made me think of you” or the random “Is this a sign?” Somehow, it always lands at the right time.

It’s the weekly calls that sometimes get pushed around because life’s chaotic, but you still make time. Just to talk. Catch up. Feel close, even when you're not. It’s those “I miss you” messages that hit out of nowhere, the voice notes that start with “guess what happened," or the little texts like “have to tell you something on call” because some things are too special for just a message.

It’s saying “Wish you were here, I'd have slapped you” and laughing through it, knowing the slap would’ve been followed by the tightest hug.  It’s the saved reels saying, “We’ll recreate this when we meet.” It’s saying “We’ll go together when you’re here” for everything from trying a new cafe to doing something stupid because doing it alone just doesn’t feel right.

It’s choosing them first, still, even with the time zones and missed calls. It’s the “Please come back” or “what if I just moved to your city?” jokes that maybe aren’t 100% jokes. It’s choosing them first, even with the time zones and missed calls. Because some people? They stay "your person", no matter the miles.

Views expressed by the author are their own.