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Diverse Opinions Thrive Under One Roof In India, Deal With It.

To pick fights with loved ones over political issues, to dessert friendships and disown relatives (or pretend to) on social media is easier said than done.

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Yamini Pustake Bhalerao
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pressure of marriage, feminist dads, daughters empowered beings

These past few years I have sat through innumerable dinner table conversations with my immediate and extended family where the flow of views and opinions almost made me choke on my food. We all have been there, haven't we? Quitely rolling eyes at your partner in crime (and real life) at the views of a right-winger uncle who cites WhatsApp forwards as facts during political discourse. Elbowing your sister and guffawing as an aunt or neighbour doles out a sanskari rational on why women should always walk one step behind their husbands, and of course, adjust, till their back and self-respect turn into mulch. While you can scream in all caps on Twitter, block those who dare to cross your opinion, we sip tea and carry on.

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Also Read: Where Is The Outrage Over Demeaning Portrayal Of Women In Films?

Take the case of NITI AAYOG CEO Amitabh Kant, who is in news since yesterday for saying that it is difficult to carry out tough reforms in our country because "we are too much of a democracy." Now there's a statement that would make most desi dads, uncles and even aunts nod their head in approval and much to the detest of us yippie pro-democracy immature type.

Kant was speaking at 'The Road to Atmanirbhar Bharat’, an online event organised by Swarajya magazine. When asked whether the pandemic presents an opportunity for our country to take the lead in manufacturing, Kant said, "So tough reforms are very difficult in the Indian context, we are too much of a democracy." He further added, "You needed a huge amount of political determination and administrative will to carry out these reforms which are being done.”

You can watch the video that has created a lot of buzz on social media here:

While social media tore into Kant's statement, sparing no time to churn out memes and jokes out of it, the most amusing reaction to his comment came from his daughter Vedica Kant:

As someone who has lived her whole life co-existing with loved ones whose views give me a pain worse than heartburn, I find Kant's response to her father's statement so relatable. You can choose your outlook towards life and its myriad of issues, but you can't choose your relatives and who you love, can you? To pick fights with loved ones over political issues, to dessert friendships and disown relatives (or pretend to) on social media, is it even possible to do so in a country where sustaining relationships is a lifestyle?

You might not agree with what someone close to you may have to say on an issue, but how much does their opinion actually affect your personal rapport with them? Should we even let politics and our sense of righteousness affect our interpersonal relationships? Wouldn't it be better to instead try and open a dialogue on these differences, so as to try and resolve them?

Now I know, resolving political difference is a near-impossible task. 'Are we too much of a democracy?' for instance, this question will generate a surprisingly diverse set of answers, depending on experience, lifestyle, perception etc. Your or my uncle may have acquired their perception on such issues over a lifetime, it didn't happen over night. Our neighbour may opine that working women care less for their family, but perhaps this is what they have grown up listening to, perhaps this is what they were told by their families to ensure that their focus didn't waiver from the duties assigned to them by patriarchy.

In shunning people for such views, we stand the risk of shunning out the individuals, and not their problematic outlooks, or the agents that perpetuate such mindset. And thus we fail to bring in the change that'll alter the status quo.

Also Read: Where Is The Outrage About Misplaced Social Media Outrage?

So no matter what social media has to say I for one believe that people of differing views flourishing under one roof is a very desi reality. Don't lose out on love and relationships. But if you truly desire to usher in change, never stop asking questions, never stop challenging their problematic point of views and never let other people shut you down.

The views expressed are the author's own.

amitabh kant vedica kant
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