Imposter Syndrome And Burnout: The Midlife Chaos We Never Talk About

The signs are everywhere. Mood swings, sweat, weight gain, bloating, skin problems, joint pain, insomnia, low libido, bad bladder, brain fog – and these are just the top 10. There are more. Way more. Starting perimenopausal, in fact. Given today’s screen-driven lifestyle matrix, these symptoms manifest as early as the beginning 30s, though by one definition, premature menopause occurs when “ovarian failure” happens before the age of 40.

A healthy physiological transition that was supposed to biologically occur in the mid-to-late 40s, leading to menopause in the 50s, has turned into a hormonal nightmare for women globally. Studies (sampling women aged 14-39) suggest that the rate of perimenopause is "surprisingly high" due to factors like “smoking, work stress, family history, social conditioning, diet, age at menarche, abortion and body mass index (BMI).” 

The imposter in the middle

Where there’s a sign, there’s a syndrome. Naturally, one of the most prevalent yet misunderstood aspects of menopause is the 'Imposter Syndrome' that hits women at a significant stage of their adult life. The feeling of inadequacy, of being “found out”, shakes her very sense of identity, leaving her chronically struggling in a labyrinth of perpetual self-doubt, burnout and zero sense of accomplishment.

"Maybe I am not organised enough. Not fair enough. Not fit enough. Not smart enough. Not popular enough. Not strong enough. Not productive enough. Not feminine enough."

There’s no untangling this “not,” unless you chemically peel the layers of self-doubt by derma-planning your life. The aesthetics of female existence require her to intensively microneedle her “vanity quotient,” egged on by the billion-dollar anti-ageing industry.

“Last year, the global anti-ageing market was estimated to be worth anywhere between $50-100 billion,” according to a market research firm. Newspapers recently reported that obsessed K-beauty consumers “swarmed markets and stocked a year’s worth of their favourite products to brace for any tariff-induced potential price hikes.”

The panic buying got a further boost as influencers flaunted their shopping hauls of cutting-edge BB creams, sheet masks, snail-mucin serums and glass skin infusions on social media. According to a survey, Gen Z is so consumed by cosmetic tweaks that 76% agree that maintaining their appearance is a key priority. Gen Alpha, in the meantime, is watching and learning.

As if a woman’s multi-tasking “claw grip” wasn’t overloaded enough metaphorically, the pressure of a cinched mermaid core aligned with that sleek Zoe Kravitz jawline is growing by the day. Welcome to the world of Wegovy, Ozempic and Mounjaro, that’s started a whole new trend of GLP-1 friendly bite-size menus to cater to shrinking appetites, often pill-induced. From slim fad diets to curated mini meals, the obesity epidemic is the new gold rush.

Goldman Sachs, according to reports, forecasts that the daily oral pill is set to capture nearly 25% share of the anti-obesity medication market by the end of the decade. Such is the craze for the perfect figure. Now add the menopause mechanics to all this and you’ll realise how damaging Imposter Syndrome can be for a woman’s – every woman’s psyche. A damning fear of being a failure that spirals into self-sabotaging behaviours and negativity.

Self-doubt and overachievement

The “persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills,” therefore, pushes most women into forever chasing validation through perfectionism and people pleasing or procrastination and minimising themselves in a quest to fit into the quintessential female mould.

And, what’s that quintessential female mould? It’s the selfless caregiver, the hardworking homemaker, the flag bearer of beauty inside-out, the silent crusader, the non-complainer, the good girl, the responsible nurturer, the unsung hero, the ‘better’ half, the peace keeper – the super woman!

Trapped somewhere between the existential crisis of Mohan Rakesh’s middle-class protagonist in Aadhe Adhure and Taylor Swift’s Showgirl! She’s forever in survival mode in a world fawning over beauty and slimness and winning. Imposter Syndrome, “worsened by perimenopause and menopause due to hormones affecting mood, memory, and confidence,” claim psychologists, leads to a crippling feeling of “not being good enough.”

As a result, a woman’s coping mechanism (which in fact is a trauma response) is a mix of guilt tripping herself into putting everyone else first, saying yes to avoid conflict, justifying her acts, negative self-talk and always being seen busy “doing” something.

What’s happening then is that women today are plain exhausted. Physically and emotionally. As relaxation is an alien term for most. All this “worry parking” in the female body has led to utter mental fatigue and a perpetual sense of overwhelm. 

The seed of what’s to come is planted young in women thanks to what is being termed as prejuvenation. There’s a handy chewable for flawless skin, a powder for shiny hair, drops to prevent fine lines, over-the-counter pills for suppressing hunger, a therapy to stimulate collagen and fancy drinks for an energy boost.

All these quick fixes are normalised coz everyone wants “to have great genes” a la Sweeney! Female pain is normalised, be it period pain, menopause aches or filler removal procedures. Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o observes that women are “taught that pain is simply part of being a woman.” This, she insists, needs to end now.  

Ageing like a bawse!

How about October 18 then? World Menopause Day. The focus this year being greater impetus on raising awareness by “educating people and advocating inclusivity in every social environment, especially for midlife women.” Add to that open dialogue to effectively break the silence on stigmas surrounding Menopause. The theme this year, as announced by the International Menopause Society (IMS), is Lifestyle Medicine. 

High time we normalise “graceful ageing” while realising that a “one size fits all” casual approach to menopause isn’t the way forward, policies need to be individualised for better work arrangements, reduction of misconceptions, reframing thought perceptions and rational handling of female workload in office and home scenarios.

Moreover, integration of alternative therapies in urban and rural areas could result in culturally appropriate menopause solutions -- including regular health-staff training, free check-ups, support group activation and designing better diet-exercise policies.

With better life expectancy, “women spend a significant part of their life after menopause”, which makes it all the more crucial to counter the debilitating fallout of menopause that triggers guilt, doubt, bias and poor self-esteem. Statistics state that “about 20% of women suffer severe menopausal symptoms while 60% suffer from mild symptoms.” 

Reason enough to address the “imposter” in the room once and for all. Oprah calls it “your moment to reinvent yourself.” Cameron Diaz believes it’s a privilege to get older because “not everybody gets to get older.” Imposter? Bah! You’re for real, girl! Periodt!

Authored by Gunjan Pant Pande | Views expressed by the author are their own.