"Nobody Prepares You For This": Amruta Bendre On Perimenopause & Motherhood

In a recent episode of The Rulebreaker Show, Bengaluru-based stand-up comic Amruta Bendre joined Shaili Chopra, founder of SheThePeople and Gytree, for an open discussion about perimenopause and the bodily changes linked to it. When asked how she is experiencing the effects of perimenopause, Amruta said, "I think it is different for every woman. For me, it was always the emotional side that took the hit. It also alters your cycle a lot."

Amruta continued, "Earlier, I was always on time. For instance, if my periods were scheduled on the eighth of a month, for years, it was the eighth. Now, it's a whole week’s range that I have to think about.”

While perimenopause is widely associated with physical symptoms, Amruta's experience shines a light on a different, often overlooked, reality. For her, the emotional side took the most significant hit, calling her once-predictable menstrual cycle a "jigsaw puzzle”.

She said, “I know I am upset, so I know that I am gonna have my period soon. But sometimes I am not upset; the periods come first. Upset comes in the middle of the periods, and three days after the periods, I am having cramps.” 

The Emotional Toll

The cramps, mood swings, and periods of calm no longer follow a logical order, leaving her feeling as though she has lost control of her own body. Amruta also talked about 'anticipatory anxiety.

“When my period is 10 days away, I am already anxious. In another 3 days, my PMS will start. So, I am anxious for the anxiety I am going to feel," she expressed, adding, “Nobody prepares you for this shit!" 

Amruta and Shaili also discussed the societal pressure on married women to have children and the lack of focus on a mother’s well-being after delivery. While the joy of a new baby is often celebrated, the significant bodily and emotional changes a new mother experiences are often overlooked.

By openly discussing the chaotic, unpredictable, and often overlooked nature of perimenopause and motherhood, Amruta Bendre is helping to break down the stigma attached to it, and this serves as a much-needed wake-up call.

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Views expressed by the author are their own.