Dear Women, Don’t Swallow Anger, It Could Be Doing More Harm Than Good

prioritise individual needs
Women don’t get angry. Parents tell us when to shed tears, they teach us when we can feel guilty or envious but never utter a word about getting angry. We come from a society where women are expected to be calm and composed. Getting angry and raising their voice beyond a particular volume is seen as ‘indecent’ or graceless. To remain with the precincts of patriarchy, women are taught to ‘swallow’ and not ‘express’ their anger.

“Women don’t get angry.” This is the only ‘reason’ we are given to not display a trace of what broke us. But is it really helpful to wear a smile when we are not okay? Shouldn’t we let our emotions out when toxicity piles up within us? The only thing that holds us back from getting angry is our belief that anger isn’t for women.

No, swallowing anger is not a solution to disagreements

It’s common for disputes and disagreements to arise in all relationships. The mistake we commit is we don’t speak our heart out. To prevent a relationship from falling apart, we simply listen to the other person’s opinions without expressing our own. This way, we allow ourselves to turn into someone who is always agitated. Besides, it can severely affect our mental and physical health. We find ourselves crying in the corner of our room, misbehaving with others for no reason and getting irritated at the slightest inconvenience.

In short, if you swallow your anger, all it will do is harm you and not benefit you in any way. It cannot be the “solution” to your problems. In fact, it will only add to your problems and after a moment, cause a massive breakdown. There’s just one thing you can do to save yourself from such an unwanted situation and that’s to express yourself.

Swallowing anger can turn any relationship into a bitter one

If you are angry at your parents, friends or partner, you ought to express it. You must let them know what you disliked about their behaviour. If you decide to keep quiet, you are doing nothing but secretly hating on a person close to you. Unknowingly, they might repeat what they did previously and hurt you again. Finally, you will be left with no option other than cutting off from them. So, dear women, forget that you need to maintain the “good girl” image. Express what you feel and get things sorted once and for all before you become a prey to a problematic relationship.

Every time we come across a bold and outspoken woman who knows when to express her anger, the first thing we need to do is applaud her. Yes, she deserves it because that is not something we usually see. Women choose to stay quiet for the fear of being ostracised from the society. The men around us can easily use violence as a tool of “self defence”. But women are seen as the epitome of peace and serenity who simply accept the wrong doings without uttering a word. It’s time to break the myth. It’s time to get angry and show the world that we won’t accept their torture any more.

Views expressed are author’s own

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