Moms have been best friends at home to their daughters but sometimes they intend to say things to their daughters that are not appropriate to say as it can put down their morale. It makes them feel how bad it is to be born as a girl and that’s when they start hating themselves or their bodies because their bodies are becoming an obstacle in their path which leads to root gender differences in their mind from the very beginning and they lack self-confidence. These are few sexist things that moms often tell their daughters.
“Why don’t you just get married? Studying further is of no use when your ultimate job is to look after your husband and his family.”
Studying further makes the girl self-dependent. It makes her aware of her rights. No one has the right to decide whether a girl wants to get married and have children or want to work or not. Marriage happens between two individuals and both are required to put efforts to make it work.
“Your new age rebellion against the men will only lead you to divorce after marriage.”
My new age rebellion is not against men. It is against patriarchy & gender discrimination. It has taught me to be me and fight for my right. Divorce doesn’t haunt me nor the person whom I’m divorcing. I just can’t spend the rest of my life with a person who can’t understand me and wants to suppress my thoughts.
“You must have done something for sure. Why will a random guy stalk YOU?”
Being a girl is enough to get stalked, raped, and murdered. We live in a country where girls are not safe in daylight, forget about evening/night. No one wants to get stalked. No one asks for it.
“Don’t laugh in public. Men could take you for granted if you laughed on their face.”
If I had to talk, laugh according to the convenience of men so that they don’t take me as agreed to, then they may need a list of ‘things not to do’ and not me to be me. They were not told to behave properly. If they can’t keep it in their pants, it’s their problem. Real men don’t do these things, especially when around women.
“No need to go on a trip with friends. Go with your husband when you are married.”
Freedom was secretly stabbed when the rights of a girl was characterized. A girl in an orthodox society can never be independent. Initially on their parents and then on their ‘better half’ after their marriage. If a girl is not independent, how will she be able to deal with situations when no one will be at her back? She also wants to travel round the world and admire the other side of nature.
The truth is that moms are also not aware of how wrong they are going because in their childhood days they had faced the same thing and due to lack of knowledge, they feel that this is only the way left out. They didn’t have the opportunity to pour their hearts out in front of their mothers back then. It will take time but if you want to choose yourself and your dreams, talk your heart out and fight for them.
Views expressed are author’s own