Why Self-Love Shouldn't Take A Backseat When You Are In A Relationship

When you get into a relationship, the first touch, the first expression of love and emotions and the first intimate conversation certainly give butterflies in the stomach. It is one of the most beautiful beginnings of life. However, just like every beginning has its own roadblocks, similarly, relationships too have their own challenges. It might get rough at times, even self-consuming, coming across as a big mistake. One of the biggest priorities in a relationship should be yourself. While focussing on other person and their needs, do not cut down on self-love.

When we try our best to make a relationship work, we give everything we can. Our time, our space and even our smiles. And here is where we need to be careful. While relationships demand effort, making them work should not be so at the cost of yourself and your individuality and happiness. A relationship should not deprive you of self-love and self-care.

Self-love and relationships

Especially in the case of women, this self-sacrifice is prevalent in ">relationships. Women, since childhood, are taught to adjust as much as possible to make things work. They are rarely told about valuing themselves over anything else. It is always a woman who is made responsible to sustain a relationship, before or after marriage. And when it doesn’t work, it is women who are blamed for not being good and tolerant enough. With all these responsibilities, women are forced to give up self-love and devote all their attention to their partner and the relationship.

Suggested Reading: Self Care Is Not Being Selfish: Fitness Professional Priya Agrawal Roongta

Women, especially those involved in marriage, tend to lose themselves slowly and get consumed by their new identity as a wife, fiance or partner. They forget the relevance of individuality, what happiness is and how they wanted their life to turn out. All they think about is not getting out of the relationship they are in presently.

There is a reason why the divorce rate in our country is less than one percent. Why 22,372 housewives died by suicide in 2020- as per data provided by National Crime Record Bureau in 2021. Women often let themselves be pushed into a corner in a relationship, in the name of adjustment and sacrifice, from which there seems to be no escape.

Why must women value relationships more than themselves? Should women lose themselves completely while taking care of their loved ones? Is it unfair to demand space and time in a relationship in which women can grow on an individual level?

Self-love helps us not only to focus on ourselves but also get rejuvenated and ready to invest more into a relationship. Think of it like a detox that rid your mind of negativity, fatigue and unhappiness. Self-care is deeply related to self-love. When you show love towards your own body, and your priorities and value your choices and thoughts, you will feel loved and happy. Remember, love isn't always about giving to others, it is also about giving back to yourself and appreciating yourself for all that you do for your partner. 

Besides, why expect anyone else to shower love on you if you are not willing to do it for yourself in the first place. So ladies, take some time out from nurturing love and relationship and focus on yourself. The relationship which will last longer than any other in your life is the one that you have with yourself- spike it with some self-loving.

The views expressed are the author's own.