Female Orgasm: Dear Women, There Is Nothing Wrong With Seeking Pleasure

autobiography of clitoris
When it comes to female orgasms, silence is the buzzword. This is because female orgasm is a scandalising word. Women’s role in a sexual relationship is to first procreate and then satisfy men and not demand pleasure from them. But dear society, if it is okay for a man to desire pleasure in sex, then why not women? Why are women who seek orgasm shamed for being a slut?

Priya had sex with multiple men. But she never got an orgasm. Every man with whom she indulged in a sexual relationship, was fully satisfied but Priya never felt that satisfaction. When it started happening continuously, she started doubting herself. She started feeling that there is some problem in her body that she is not able to orgasm. Not that she didn’t demand orgasm from her partners, but there was always this fear that whether it will appropriate to say that the partner was not “good enough”.

Priya’s story will resonate with many women in our society. Rarely do women see sex as a means of pleasure. They have been conditioned into believing that sex is either to please men or for procreation. On the other hand, men too do not care much about women’s orgasms as they often assume that women are not really interested in gaining pleasure. Due to this confidence and dominance of men in bed, women often blame themselves for not being good enough or for being born with a flaw that doesn’t give them orgasm.

How long will women objectify themselves as pleasure-giving or birth-giving machines?

When will women and men understand that female orgasm is as important too? When will men think about pleasing their female partners too? When will sex be about equality?

Why do we shame women who demand pleasure in sex? Undeniably sex is an important part of our lives. And if it is okay for men to have pleasure through it then why not women? Why should having sex or demanding pleasure be abnormal when it comes to women?

India is a country that created Kamasutra. In fact, if we look behind in our history, especially religious history, sexual decadence has been an important part of the lives of the Gods. Haven’t you seen the erotic idols in sex temples of India that idolise sex and sexuality? Then why does it become wrong for a woman to demand pleasure? Why should they be made to feel guilty for seeking the basic need of life?

Importance of Female Orgasm: It has physiological benefits too.

Dr Tanaya tells SheThePeople that orgasm not only gives a sense of relief but also leads to good heart health. Having an orgasm during sex, which goes for both the partners, brings the partners closer to each other.

It is high time we understand that the female orgasm is also a part of sexual relationship. Without that, sex is all about male desire. A woman’s vagina is not made to please the man with orgasm or the family with a child. It is also a woman’s source of pleasure which she rightfully deserves to have in life. So stop slut shaming women who demand orgasm. They are not ready to subsume themselves in the definition of an ideal woman of patriarchy. And I think no one should.

Views expressed are the author’s own.