Dear Men, Hymen Is Not A Sanskari Seal That Breaks After Sex

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Hymen is not a sanskari seal: Patriarchy is like opening a can of worms every day, not willingly, but repeatedly. Did you know that many men who have sex with women for the first time label the rupture of the hymen as “virgin ki seal todna” (to break the seal of a woman’s virginity)?

It is a euphemism used for ‘breaking’ a woman’s virginity and claiming to be her first sexual partner ever. Gross, isn’t it? But that’s how society perceives it- sanskaar, youthfulness and innocence all welded together into a tight sanskari seal which if broken, the girl loses her izzat and innocence. But dear men, have you ever considered knowing about the biology of the female body? Have you ever focused on the part about the reproductive system in your class rather than giggling and laughing it away? Have you ever considered science over being an irrational patriarchal fool?

Hymen is not a sanskari seal. Here is why

First things first, virginity is not a seal. In fact, the very concept of virginity or ‘losing virginity is flawed. To be scientific, it is the hymen that ruptures while having sex and it is not a seal but a fragile, flimsy and thin tissue that covers the vaginal entrance like a curtain.

To break your misconception of a sanskari “seal” attached to the vaginal entrance further, let me tell you that hymen is not a blockage and already has holes in it. According to Dr Riddhima Shetty, “Hymen is not a complete shield. It already has small holes from where period blood flows out.”. Adding further, Dr Tanaya Narayan says, “If there is a dhakkan/or a seal at the end of the vaginal lining, the period blood would get trapped.” However, this is a medical condition in which a hymen has no hole for a period blood to flow and it is known as imperforate hymen, Dr Narayan explains. As a treatment, holes are punched into hymen surgically.

The rupture of hymen often leads to bleeding. However, Dr Shetty says, “As per statistics there are 50-60 per cent women who have no bleeding during first intercourse.”She further adds that many times the hymen breaks while regressive physical activities. And in many cases, women are born without any hymen

And did you know that sometimes, hymen remains intact even after having sex?s Dr Narayan shared an anecdote that a sex worker had an intact hymen and that “hymen is not an indicator whether or not you had sex.”

Stop obsessing over women’s virginity

Unlike the patriarchal conception, the hymen doesn’t “seal” the goodness, innocence, youthfulness and izzat of a woman. So even if it ruptures, the woman remains the same as she was before. Being a ‘sealbreaker’ is not an achievement, dear men. It just gives you a false sense of masculinity. Talking about women disrespectfully and not caring about them beyond sex doesn’t make you cool. It only reiterates the double standards about men’s and women’s sexuality. It is okay for a man to have sex with multiple partners and when women do the same they are sluts, whores or used items. But why? Stop obsessing over women’s virginity when society doesn’t obsess over man’s.

Moreover, let us make it clear once again that a woman doesn’t ‘lose’ her virginity when she has sex for the first time. First-time sex is a unique experience, a conquest and a choice that a woman took for her body. So she doesn’t lose her izzat or anything but gains an ex[erience, agency over her body.