#Opinion

How To Strengthen And Increase The Shelf Life Of Female Friendships

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Female friendships are the foundation of sisterhood. With giggles, gossip and glasses, the friendship help in creating a bond that not only heals your wounds but also helps you grow.

Before I used to be repulsed by the idea of having a female friends’ group. I was infiltrated with the idea that girls are back bitches whom you cannot trust. But after spending 5 years of life in a woman’s college, I realised how false all those thoughts were. I found the best of my friends in women. I found safety, happiness and support in my female friends.

But as the conception of society goes, female friendship doesn’t last long. Sometimes because a boy comes in between. Sometimes because of the misconception that women cannot be trusted with secrets. And other times because women get married and have to get absorbed in their husbands’ friends’ group. But in this article, I assure you that female friendship are not so weak. It is societal rules and misconceptions that make it appear so.

So let us look at a few tips on how to sustain and strengthen female friendships:

  1. Trust each other

The first and the foremost building block of a friendship is trust. If we go by societal norms, then no woman will be able to trust each other. As it is widely believed that Yuddhistir of Mahabharata cursed every woman on the earth that they will never be able to keep a secret to them, women are afraid of trusting each other. But dear women, it is completely a false idea. Women are as trustworthy as are men. They share common experiences which makes them empathetic in addition to being trustworthy. So trust your female friends no matter what. Yes in some cases, the misconception might prove right. But for a few rare cases, why spoil your friendship based on assumptions?

2. Share your experiences and battle with patriarchy

Another way to strengthen you’re your friendship with women in your life is to share and listen to the battles against patriarchy each woman has fought. By doing this, the space of friendship becomes a ground for healing and growing beyond the wounds that patriarchy inflicted. It also allows drawing strength from women who faced patriarchy head-on.

3. Do not separate after marriage

Even if I want to deny it, marriage is the truth of a woman’s life. It changes everything, from their clothing, job city to their friends and home. While men can retain their friendships even after marriage. So to have a longer shelf life of female friendships, dear women, don’t separate from each other after marriage. Your friendships partly define your individuality and getting rid of that is never a good option.

4. Support each other for different choices

As a friend, you must warn your female friend about the possible consequences of her choices. At the most, you must try your best to convince her against doing anything that might harm her. But in the end, it is your friend’s choice to go through certain things in life. And you must support her in every choice she makes. Because we all have a different outlook towards the world and different life choices. Don’t let that difference become a line of separation between you and your friend. 

5. Don’t let friendship break because of a boy

It is a common misconception, or truth in some cases, that women often fight over men and break their friendships. But by doing that women are only certifying the fact that men influence women’s choices more than themselves. Fighting over a man to break a childhood friendship is never a good idea. That man might be a recent person in your but the friend knows you since you didn’t know yourself. So try to have a balance between having a male friend and a female friend. Don’t let anyone of them take control of your will and choices.

6. Encourage powerful conversations

To strengthen female friendship as a base of sisterhood, it is important to insinuate powerful conversations about women’s empowerment in your group. Talk about successful women and how they fought their battles. Talk about how a woman can be financially independent and share the knowledge about it with each other. Encourage that friend who is going to file a divorce or seek a career that her parents won’t allow. Be each other’s secret keepers and the biggest push in life.

Views expressed are the author’s own.