Why must a woman change herself to fit in after marriage? Why is something as spontaneous and ordinary as laughter prone to stigmatisation for women in our country?
The gendering of duties which sends women picking after their husbands or put their needs first was never about love. It was always about establishing a hierarchy, in our society, in our homes and in our bedrooms.
We simply assume that men love to be the decision makers in all households, but is it gender which must give a person the agency to be the assertive one among a couple?
Must a daughter-in-law always appease her saas, for the sake of a harmonious matrimonial life? Or with changing times, it is valid for her to take a stand and let the mother-in-law tone down her expectations?
It is not about happiness or love, it is just about piling years upon years on your broken relationship, because people think that is what a successful marriage is, years spent together.
Even today, it is women’s task to work on their marriages and give them the fairy tale ending they have been bought up to believe in.
Lack of sexual agency could also mean getting little to no intimacy from your partner and having no say in it. How many women can say confidently that they can demand sex from their partner without any inhibition?
Going back isn’t the solution, adaptation is. Indian matrimony has to adapt itself to modern times, if it wants to stay relevant and functional. Which means, let a couple decide what kind of marriage and eventually family life they want for themselves.
A lot of people feel that marriage kills an individual’s freedom. But is it the institute or the norms on which it runs, that are binding?
The priorities of modern Indians are too baffling to their orthodox peers who have been conditioned to see love, marriage and happily ever after as synonyms to each other.
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