'Till Death Do Us Part': Is It Right To Label Marriages As Lifetime Commitment?

 ‘Till death do us part’- this phrase induces butterflies in the stomach because of the romance and love it embodies. The phrase is used to dedicate the love and longevity of marriages. It is used as a promise that couples make to each other to sustain the marriage. However, is it right to make marriages eternal?

Belonging to a Hindu community, I have always wondered how the seven rounds around the fire bring a couple together for seven births. What made me question this idea was the fact that I witnessed failed marriages and how they were just the opposite of the togetherness that customs entailed.

While I am writing this article, I can hear the cries of a woman being beaten up by her husband. This is a regular sight in the town where I live. If not abuse, then extramarital affairs, unequal marriages and toxic relationships are very common among couples in India today. In fact, domestic violence has become the top crime among the crimes committed against women.

In such cases, is it really right to make marriages the bond of a lifetime? Is it right to force couples to be with each other for such a long duration?

I am not questioning the couples who have enough love and understanding to continue their marriage till death. But there are couples who are forced to do it too. And unfortunately, such couples are comparatively more in our country (considering the high rate of domestic violence). It is because of this promise of endless commitment that divorces are not as common in our country. In our country, the rate of divorce is around 1.1 per cent despite the fact that failed marriages are a common phenomenon.

According to an NCRB report, housewives were the second largest group to die by suicide due to abuse in ">marriage.

What more proof do we need to understand that not every marriage is suitable for an endless commitment? Is it right then to assume that a good marriage is one that lasts long?

'Till Death Do Us Part': Is It Right To Label Marriages As Lifetime Commitment?

Let us understand that a marriage is happy only when both people in it are loving and caring towards each other. And it is not necessary that the love last for long. The idea of getting out of love is real. And so at times, couples lose the spark that initially became the basis of their bond.

Some of you might then say that failed marriages are signs that two people are not fit for each other. But let me tell you one thing, two people might be fit for each other but that need not be proved through marriage.

A short and happy marriage is also the epitome of love in which couples were aware enough to end the marriage before it becomes toxic for each other.

The idea of lifetime commitment makes divorce an evil idea. It portrays it as a western culture that is deteriorating Indian customs and beliefs. But that’s not true. Divorce is a healthy path to end relationships that are not happy. It gives couples the freedom from relationships which are not meant for them.

So dear society, before making death the end of marriages, think twice. Is it about the natural death or about the enforced one brought by the consequences of a bad marriage? I am not saying that marriages can never be happy. But this doesn’t mean that we assume that every marriage is supposed to be happy. And we consequently blame the couples for not trying to sustain a marriage. Marriage can be considered a long-term relationship. But let’s not label the long-term as death or seven births. The longevity of a relationship depends on how long the relationship was happy. And not by how long the couple adjusted to social norms, unhappily and toxically.

Views expressed are the author's own.

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