#Personal Stories

Oh Shona! Things Not to Say If You Dating A Bengali Woman 🙄

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I don’t think I am good at giving relationship advices for the simple reason that I have myself never been in one. It was some time ago that one of my friends asked me, “What do you think should a man remember if he is dating a Bengali woman?”. Initially, I had no answer to give. Rather I wanted to scream out, “What sort of abrupt question is that? What does being a Bengali have to do with her dating anyone?” But I cleverly used the opportunity to shatter some myths and stereotypes about Bengalis and gave a few easy to follow tips on dating a Bengali woman

1. Don’t get pissed off if she loves Abir Chatterjee more than she loves you!

For those of you who don’t know, Abir Chatterjee is the common crush of all Bengali maidens. He is an actor blessed with versatile acting skills, an appealing appearance and literally all the qualities we look for in a person to fall head over heels for. If interested, you can watch some of his classics which include The Byomkesh Series, Bishorjon, Bijoya, Guptodhoner Shondhane, Shob Bhooture and several others.

2. Don’t expect her to be sarva gunn sampann

Your girlfriend is not a singer, dancer and intellectual, all rolled into one. Because it is a common notion to think of Bengali women as being highly talented and intellectual, I considered it a responsibility to clear the confusion. 

3. No, she doesn’t love to be called babu or shona

Pampering a Bengali woman by calling her ‘babu or shona’  can be very annoying. It’s okay if some of you appreciate being addressed that way. Everyone has a unique way of expressing their love. But personally, I strongly oppose these titles. And also why force fit these into your vocab if they don’t come naturally to you? Doing it for me? No no no.

4. Never say, “You are not like other women”

First of all, this is not a compliment for any woman. If you thought a Bengali woman will melt in your arms listening to this sexist and chauvinist statement, I advise you to reconsider it. You don’t even know how terribly wrong you are.

5. Don’t try speaking in Bengali just to impress  her

Saying Aami Tomake Bhalobashi to sound sweet is acceptable but trying to learn the language and making repeated attempts to speak the same just to impress your lady love is a horrible idea. Why would she choose you had she wanted a Bengali speaking guy?

I don’t know if I could convince my friend to believe me or to follow the suggestions. But you can surely consider these ideas if you are planning on dating a Bengali woman. Though I am not making any promises, in my opinion, a Bengali woman would love to date a person who doesn’t hold stereotypes, whatsoever it may be about Bengalis and their culture. Just like everyone else, all they look for in an ideal partner is an understanding personality. 

Would you like to share your experience of dating a Bengali woman or suggest more tips which should be kept in mind if one is dating a Bengali woman?

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