The Captain of Indian Cricket Team, Virat Kohli and actor-producer Anushka Sharma tied the knot in a private ceremony in Italy, yesterday. Fans and celebrities are busy congratulating the gorgeous couple, while we can’t stop drooling over their perfect wedding photographs. However, there is another great news which accompanies their marriage. That now on Mr Kohli will based in Mumbai with his wife.
If the news is indeed true, then Virat Kohli joins the growing breed of new-age beta men, who willing make adjustments in their lifestyle, instead of demanding so from their spouse.
Anushka is an actor and a producer, obviously she cannot live away from Mumbai which is the hub for commercial Hindi Cinema. Living and maintaining a household in Delhi and working in Mumbai will be difficult, even for a celebrity like her. Especially in the initial period of the nuptial, when the couple would like to spend as much time with each other as possible.
Usually in India after marriage, women are expected to switch jobs or abandon them, for the sake of the success of the new relationship.
As it is with every aspect of our society, the burden of making a marriage work also falls on a woman’s shoulder.
Women are advised to 'take it easy' after marriage. The institution becomes a priority over everything else. The society considers these adjustments that we make, as part and parcel of married life. Something every woman has to do, since she is the proverbial ‘paraya dhan’.
However, with the dialogue on gender equality gaining momentum things are changing slowly. It’s not possible for men to understand what we are giving up, if we do not tell them. Another important factor is conditioning. New age beta men, are brought up in liberal homes, where parents, especially mothers do not teach their sons that they are special because of their gender. They encourage their daughters-in-law to not make compromises in both professional and personal lives.
The conversation on adjustments necessary in a marriage, is essential for every couple who wants to tie the knot.
Both the partners should lay down their expectations in front of each other. More importantly, the couple should honour their end of the commitment. The decision on who will change his or her base or lifestyle or job, should be on the basis of who can afford the change, not the gender.
Being a youth icon, Virat’s decision to move his base to Mumbai to be with his wife should stimulate a conversation in the new generation. They should try to look beyond her gorgeous attire and his perfect beard, and see the attempt that goes into making a relationship work.
They are two successful professionals, who have a massive fan following, and are at the top of their game. Yet he has decided to make a massive change in his life, for her convenience. We wish that Virat’s stand on marital adjustment will not go unnoticed. Eventually, more men will start following his example. They will make changes to their lifestyles, for the sake of their partner’s happiness.
We wish the best of married life to this couple.
Dr Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section. The views expressed are author’s own.