#Personal Stories

Let’s talk about our imperfections and let’s talk about them a little louder.

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I’m 26 currently. Since childhood I have been chubby. With imperfections came bullying. I’d be nervous before the BMI test during the sports class because I knew the other kids would hurl jokes and names as soon as the BMI went above normal.

I was good at swimming but even that tad bit of confidence got snatched away when a fellow classmate joked about how the water would come all out once I dive in the pool. The other kids found it funny. I didn’t. Maybe I smiled that moment to somehow hide the embarrassment I was experiencing. Of course as a kid and as a grown up now, I want to be fit and I’m doing all I can for it. Who doesn’t want to have a so called perfect body? We all do right!

But at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own skin, whether fat or skinny, fair or dark, tall or short. Imperfections stand for individuality. But we, as kids, were not taught that I guess. I don’t blame the little kids for being mean. They practice what they’re preached. Topics like body positivity are nowhere in the moral science books.

Let’s talk about our imperfections and let’s talk about them a little louder says actor Surabhi Tiwari

And now as an adult, I know I need to be vocal about this. It’s all fun and glamour till the curtains are lifted. Life of an influencer/public figure, especially on social media is more than just free stuff, photoshoots, articles and all things good. There also exist parts that are not all things good. Let’s talk about this *not so talked about* part of public life today.

Actor Surabhi Tiwari, body positivity, imperfections

Actor Surabhi Tiwari

As a 26 year old, I still remember these tiny incidents from when I was so little, not because I have a good memory but because those comments and jokes scarred me as a kid. Today I realise that it was never me who was not good enough, neither was it those other mean kids. It was the society who didn’t do very well a job while teaching us about kindness and individuality.

My motive is to reach out to any other little girls or boys out there who are too nervous to go to school because they know they’ll be bullied. These little kids should know that imperfections are beautiful. It’s time these young little people are taught the real meaning of being *cool* which is kindness and love.

Every time I post a picture, whether it’s a picture of me or just an opinion that I put up on my social media, there comes a storm of mixed comments and DMs. Some would appreciate the flaws, comment on how well I carry myself. There also are some who come up with such creative ways of slut shaming, hurling abuses, at times even threatening you! When I first stepped into the acting industry, such messages would make me question myself and what I was doing, I knew I was right yet there was a constant doubt and fear in my head.

But then I think that doubt and that lack of confidence and fear has always been there since childhood. It’s just that on social media and as an influencer, these things happen in a much more terrific way. I don’t know maybe the same kids who were bullies back then grew up and developed better bullying and hate-spreading skills. So rape threats and trolling is just a wider form of bullying. It’s not a new concept.

I think the least we can do to normalise imperfections and appreciating them is by talking about them. Let’s talk about our imperfections and let’s talk about them a little louder. Let those mean kids from school not become internet trolls with fake IDs when they grow up. I urge people, especially the young ones, to be proud of their imperfections and let others be proud of theirs. You do not have to dim somebody else’s light to shine brighter!

Now that I’ve been on social media since 2009 and as an actress cum influencer since 2018, I know that these trolls and self proclaimed critics are not what we should be scared of – Surabhi Tiwari

In fact, they should be scared, they should have the doubts and the fear on whether what they’re writing to someone on the internet is appropriate or not. Freedom of speech is the right to criticise not the right to hurl abuses or threaten another human being just because they do not fall under your so called PERFECT category. Influencers and public figures are humans too. And more importantly the people engaged in such trolling, you guys are humans too so please be humane. Stop with the concepts of what’s feminine and what’s masculine. Let’s first be humane and then appreciate the rest that we are.

Don’t blame social media or the kind of clothes or content owned by somebody. Rather check yourself.

Check the last comment you dropped on somebody’s picture. Recall the last time you called somebody (even as a joke), moti, kaali, lambu, chipkali, aunty ji etc. Will your negative or degrading comments or abuse work as keto for me? No right! It’s time we de-stigmatise imperfections and flaws. It’s time we spread love, awareness and not hatred. Being an influencer, I’m doing my part by at least addressing it. I have tried politer ways to do that but they don’t seem to work. So it’s time to go radical, I believe. Let’s be aware and make aware and ultimately make the world a better place to live in.

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