"I've Never Felt More Alive:" How Age Gap Friendships Spark Life Upgrade

Intergenerational friendships bring the best of both generations and have been reported to upgrade women's lifestyle two fold. It then becomes necessary to decode how this 'unconventional' friendship has now become convenient, comforting and courageous for many women. Exploring the idea of female friendships in itself is a diverse realm where one looks into how it becomes not only an escape point but also a medium to uplift and enrich their lives. 

How Cinema Enforces Friendship as Shared Sisterhood

Cinema and theatre has explored this idea where we often see an amalgamation of sisterhood and friendship which blurs the line between the two and portrays women in a close knit community who thrive on shared grief, joy, euphoria and tragedy. Series like 'Orange is the New Black' too reflect on how women of different race, culture and age live in prison where they are bound to form close connections with each other despite the plethora of differences among them. 

Women have bonded over things that are very sacred to them, in the series Anne with an E' we witness how vital it is for female friendships to be pure and raw. When little girls perform a ceremony in the series where they solemnly swear to remain best of friends, we discover that it runs through women of all ages. When Anne befriends an older lady, both find comfort in each other that they never found in other people. They confide and learn consistently by eachother but also grow together. 

Asking Women About Intergenerational Friendships And How It Impacts Them

Female friendships become an integral part and a necessity keeping in mind how 'giving' they can be. We asked a few students of University of Delhi on how intergenerational friendship appeals to them. 

Nakshatra (student) mentions, "I am friends with a 35 year old woman and it is one of the most treasured things. Her calm, composed and mature outlook towards life has helped me stabilise myself and see things from a different perspective. They make us realise that whatever crisis we go through in our teenage years is transient and we will see the light at the end of the tunnel." This makes us ponder if we hang on to such friendships more closely than others in order to feel, see and experience  hope. Reaffirming us that our present is enough and the future is brimming with new experiences. 

Another student, Srishti, mentions the other side of intergenerational friendships, "It helps the older person in these friendships relive certain parts of their younger self and this triggers some proustian moments within them. They in a way feel like they're in their 20s again and seem to enjoy the thrill of all that was missed during their teenage/ younger years. I think these friendships then become important for most of the older people as well."

On a day to day basis when we interact with only the same set of our generation, our perspectives frequently become concentrated and dense. Intergenerational interactions and friendships make us more aware and connected not only with others but ourselves. We re-define what 'enough' is, because in a world where teenagers feel like they need to be more, do more and are not enough there is an older person who feels that maybe they shouldn't have been so hard on their younger selves and have now known what 'enough' is. 

Mona, who is a 47 year old woman mentions how intergenerational friendship has helped her, "I belong to a generation where our parents guided us through thick and thin and their wish was our command; in my teen years we navigated our life decisions with our parents and their inputs heavily impacted our life. But when I look at my daughters and the younger generation, I feel they are more practical and sorted. I try to be a friend for my daughter's before their mother and I always learn through them. I feel they have so much to say, with such clarity of thoughts and rational that I constantly feel empowered talking to them." 

A 48 year old scientist currently working in the Government Defence (who wishes to stay anonymous) tells us how friendships with age gap have refined her social circle, "Both the generations (older and younger) have different energies, people in their 20s are more enthusiastic and zealous while we are more calm and composed but being around each other this distinction just fades away. You start  feeling energised and lively.

In my profession, most of my colleagues get transferred so when we get new people I talk to them and there's always something or the other happening with everyone and they are just so engaged and focused. The best part is that none of my travel plans get cancelled because these juniors are always ready to explore. It keeps our work environment very positive as well and boosts our morale while keeping us connected with each other."

For younger women, intergenerational friendships feel like a warm hug that is full of hope, sense of direction and comfort. Older women not only reaffirm us but strengthen us through their lived experiences and help us sail through. Again we must mention how these friendships go beyond the narrative of hope, they are symbiotic relationships where both people take the best of each other and uplift each other. Intergenerational friendships bring two perspectives and two generations together where both find love and hope in each other. An escape, a relief and composure.

Views expressed by the author are their own