On Raksha Banshan, a celebration of brother-sister bonds, Sushant Singh Rajput’s eldest sister, Neetu Singh created a poem in Hindi for the late actor. Neetu Singh, loving called Rani Di by her brother, wrote about not being able to celebrate the occasion with him for the first time in 35 years.
Rani Di wrote, “ Aaj tumhara din hai. Aaj hamara din hai. Aaj rakhi hai. 35 saal ke baad yeh pehla afsar hai ki aaj puja ki thal saji hai, arti ka diya bhi jal raha hai, as woh chehra nahi hai jiski aarti utar sakun. Woh kalai nahi jispar rakhi baand sakun. Woh muh nahi jisko meetha kar sakun. Woh maatha nahi jise chum sakun. Woh bhai nahi jise gale laga sakun. Varshon pehle jab tum jab aaye they toh jeewan jagmag ho utha tha. Jab they toh ujala hi ujala tha. Ab jab tum nahi ho toh mujhe samajh nahi aata ki kya karun. Tumhari bagair mujhe jeena nahi aata. Kabhi socha nahi tha ki aisa bhi hoga. Yeh din hoga par tum nahi hoge. Dher saari cheezein humne saath saath seekhin. Tumhare bina rehna main akele kaise seekhun? Tumhi kaho. Hamesha tumhari, Rani di.”
“Ab jab tum nahi ho toh mujhe samajh nahi aata ki kya karun. Tumhari bagair mujhe jeena nahi aata” – Neetu Singh
Hindustan Times translated the letter, which in English reads as,
“Today is your day. Today is our day. Today is rakhi. It is the first time in 35 years that the puja thaal is decorated, the diya is lit, but I cannot perform aarti for you. I cannot tie the rakhi on your wrist. I cannot feed you sweets. I cannot kiss your forehead. I cannot hug you. When you were born life became brighter. You spread joy in your lifetime. But now that you aren’t here, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to live without you. I never thought I’d see this day — a day without you in it. We learned so much together. But how am I supposed to learn to live without you? You tell me. Forever yours, Rani di.”
Sushant Singh Rajput died on 14 June 2020 by suicide. Since then the case had had many complications and new developments. His father filed a report against his ex-girlfriend, Rhea Chakraborty for abetting his suicide. She was accused of unexplained money transactions from the actor’s account. The accusations were later proven false by the Police. Prior to these events, a case was filed against eight Bollywood ‘biggies’ including Karan Johan and Salman Khan. Celebrities like Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Aditya Chopra, and more were called in for questioning. His death has sparked a crucial debate of nepotism in Bollywood and actors like Kangana Renaut have taken a strong stance in his favour.
Bhavya Gupta is an intern with SheThePeople