IAS officer refuses to Kanyadaan: Tapasya Parihar who recently secured 23rd rank in the UPSC examination is in news again. As per reports, Tapasya refused to kanyadaan on her wedding by telling her father, ‘I am not a charity thing, I am your daughter.’
Tapasya got hitched to IFS officer Gauravit Gangwar in Joba village of Narshinghpur of Madhya Pradesh. She did not let the ritual of kanyadaan take place at her wedding. IAS officer Tapasya said in an interview that she didn’t like this ideology of giving away daughters since childhood. How can someone donate her without her wish, she used to wonder.
She discussed it with her family members and they also agreed to it. The officer managed to persuade the groom’s side also. The marriage then took place without giving any Kanyadaan.
Her husband IFS Garvit reportedly supported her decision. He said that we should do away with such beliefs and rituals gradually. Tapasya’s father is also happy with how the marriage took place.
Tapasya Parihar’s father is a farmer in Joba village of Madhya Pradesh. She did her schooling from the Kendriya Vidyalaya in her district. She later moved to Pune to complete her law degree. She prepared for the Indian Administrative Services exam in New Delhi for two and a half years. Through sheer hard work, she scored the 23rd rank in 2018 civil services exams to become an IAS officer.
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There is, however, a section of people who are criticising the IAS officer and her family for not taking Hindu rituals seriously. This is not the first time when a bride has brought about a change with her positive actions.
Understanding the pressing need to promote girls’ education, a Rajasthan bride reportedly requested her father before her wedding to use the money reserved for her dowry in the noble cause of constructing a girls’ hostel. The father agreed and donated ₹ 75 lakh for the same. Read more about this inspiring story here.
Bollywood actor Dia Mirza also broke stereotypes on her wedding. Hindu wedding rituals are commonly performed by male priests but Bollywood actor Dia Mirza, who got married to businessman Vaibhav Rekhi early this year, shattered gender norms by roping in a female priest for the same. Read more about it here.
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This is a fascinating story of how brides in India are calling for change. At SheThePeople we are constantly highlighting women who want break the status quo and seek legitimate answers to their traditions and rituals. At a girl’s wedding, often a lot of not right in the rituals. From bidaai, to haldi while some of these do seem like fun, they have difficult and disturbing histories.
Whether a punjabi wedding or a Bengali one, the rituals of a girls are given more importance than her rights? We need to start questioning such long exercised traditions and not follow blindly.
Wondering what are these stereotypical rituals? Click here