When Indian Administrative Services officer Tapasya Parihar was growing up, she used to question the Hindu wedding ritual kanyadaan wherein the parents of the bride give her away to the groom’s family.
When she recently got married to her husband, she told her father that she is not a thing that can be given in charity and refused to have the ritual be performed at her wedding.
Her wedding took place in Joba village of Narshinghpur of Madhya Pradesh to Garvit Gangwar, an IFS officer. As per reports, Parihar had long been convincing her parents and her in-laws against kanyadaan and she was successful. Her father did not give her away at her wedding. Her stand has now inspired many girls across the country.
In a report by Aaj Tak, the groom, IFS officer Garvit Gangwar is all for his wife’s decision. He believes that women should not have to change everything about themselves after marriage. Why are the rituals not applicable to the groom? He believes that such regressive rituals should be done away with. Tapasya Parihar’s father also felt happy by marrying his daughter without performing kanyadaan. Parihar was married without her father “thrusting” her ownership on some other man.
Tapasya Parihar was born in Joba village of Madhya Pradesh. She did her schooling from the Kendriya Vidyalaya in her district moved to Pune to complete her law degree. She prepared for the Indian Administrative Services exam in New Delhi for two and a half years. She scored the 23rd rank in the 2018 civil services exams and became an IAS officer.
Parihar’s story is an inspiring one that makes us all question once again, why are still following such outdated customs that do not serve women in any way? Earlier this year, actor Dia Mirza had made headlines when she also got married to her husband without kanyadaan. Like Tapasya Parihar, her wedding was also conducted by Vedic rituals excluding the rituals such as bidaai and kanyadaan. She had said, “change begins with choice”. If we choose to stop blindly following the age-old regressive rituals, we might inch closer to an equal society.
Here’s wishing Tapasya Parihar a happy married life and hoping that she would break many more stereotypes.