Healing Doesn’t Have A Deadline; And You’re Not Late To Your Life

In the midst of all the soft aesthetic quotes, candlelit journaling reels, and “that girl” morning routines, a new pressure has taken over Instagram: if you’re not constantly healing, evolving, or having a life-changing glow up, you’re somehow falling behind.

The app that once told women, “You’re enough as you are,” is now whispering, “But you could be better and you should hurry.” And suddenly, personal growth feels less like a journey and more like a deadline you’re meant to meet before everyone else.

It was meant to be a self-love movement, but slowly, it’s turned into a race, not for beauty or success, but for inner transformation.

“Every time I open Instagram, someone is announcing a major life shift,” said Shreya, 22 year old student from Delhi University. “New mindset, new body, new habits, new boundaries… and suddenly I’m questioning if my life is too ordinary.”

The Performative Side of Healing

Healing online has become very structured, almost like a syllabus, journal at sunrise, meditate with soft music, drink matcha, cut off “toxic people,” go to therapy, read three self-help books a month, solo travel, and end it with a peace of mind selfie carousel.

And if you’re not doing this? It can feel like you’re “not working on yourself.”

But real healing is rarely so neat. It’s messy. It’s personal. It’s private. It can look like crying on the bathroom floor, feeling lost, or simply getting through the day. Healing doesn't always come with aesthetic skincare, Pinterest quotes, or a plane ticket to Bali.

“I assumed healing meant becoming this calm, spiritual, morning-routine person,” said Priya, a medical student. “But I realised I was just forcing myself to fit into an Instagram version of self-growth. It didn’t feel like me at all.”

The Guilt of “Not Improving Fast Enough”

More and more women now feel guilty for not healing at the speed social media promotes. There’s a sense that everyone else is evolving faster, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and you’re the only one stuck.

Healing has become something to achieve instead of experience. It slowly creates a painful inner dialogue. If I still struggle, am I doing something wrong? Why am I not as healed as she is? Am I somehow falling behind in my own life? Instead of comforting us, the online healing culture often leaves women feeling like they’re failing at something that is supposed to be gentle and personal.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m in a competition I never signed up for,” said Aanya, a college student. “Everyone posting their progress makes me feel like I’m only stuck, even when I’m trying.”

When Healing Becomes a Trend

Healing has also become a marketplace. There are online courses on how to find yourself, manifestation journals, “healing retreats,” self-care merch, affirmation playlists, and coaches selling a “better version of you.”

Healing, once personal, has become a brand. And when something becomes a trend, the pressure to perform it increases. Women start to feel they must show their growth, share their breakthroughs, and post a curated version of their emotional journey.

A Reminder We All Need

Healing is not homework. It has no deadline. It is not a race, a glow-up challenge, or a social media aesthetic. It is unpredictable, non-linear, and deeply individual.

Some people heal loudly, and others do it silently. Some find their way quickly, while others take their time, and whatever your pace is, it’s valid.

It’s okay if you’re not transforming every season. It’s okay if you’re not journaling or meditating. It’s okay if some days you are not “glowing” but simply going on. Maybe the real self-love is choosing to heal at your own speed, without needing to broadcast it or make it look pretty.

Because you don’t need an online audience to make your growth real. And you definitely don’t need to “glow up” to deserve love, rest, or acceptance.

Maybe the most radical thing a woman can do today is to stop rushing, stop performing, and just be human.

Views expressed by the author are their own.