Swipe Left, But 1800s Style: Should Vinegar Valentines Make A Comeback?

If you think insecure people sending filthy, hateful DMs after getting romantically rejected is a modern phenomenon, let us introduce you to the crazy yet wonderful Victorian tradition of Vinegar Valentines. In the 1800s, there was no better way to let someone know they were undesirable than with the ultimate insult: the vinegar valentine. Also known as the “comic valentines,” these unwelcome notes were sometimes insensitive but always a bit emotionally damaging in the anti-spirit of Valentine’s Day.

Love Letters Turned Sour

Imagine sending a card that says, “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather date a rock than go out with you.” That’s the essence of a Vinegar Valentine.

They were commercially bought postcards, sent anonymously, so the receiver had to guess who hated him or her; and to make matters even worse, the recipient had to pay the postage on delivery. Some of these cards were lighthearted jabs at bad manners, laziness, or arrogance. Others? Downright brutal, roasting everything from someone’s looks to their love life (or lack thereof).

They were used for more than turning down suitors. These insulting letters were aimed against nosy neighbours, annoying bosses, and everyone else who deserved a little Victorian-style sarcasm.

In Civil War Humor, Cameron C. Nickels wrote that vinegar valentines were “tasteless, even vulgar,” and were sent to “drunks, shrews, bachelors, old maids, dandies, flirts, and penny pinchers, and the like.” He added that 1847 sales between love-minded valentines and these sour notes were split at a major New York Valentine publisher.

To A Suffragette, Valentine.

The women’s suffrage movement of the late 19th and early 20th century brought a different set of vinegar valentines, which targetted women who fought for the right to vote. While only a small percentage of such cards were devoted to suffragists, Kenneth Florey argues in American Woman Suffrage Postcards that “it is clear from their context that an interest in women’s rights was an inherent part of one’s distorted personality.”

But, Why Did The Vinegar Valentines Die Out?

As you might have guessed, not everyone was thrilled about receiving an insulting greeting card, (that they also had to pay for). Over time, people started calling them cruel and unnecessary.

By the mid-20th century, as Valentine’s Day turned into a lovefest of glitter and romance, the savage tradition quietly disappeared. 

But in today’s world, where we can't survive without sarcasm and memes, Vinegar Valentines feel oddly on-brand. We already have things like anti-Valentine’s parties, and apps dedicated to rejecting people with a single swipe. So why not bring back a tradition that truly lets people express their real feelings?

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Time For A Comeback?

While we might not want to go full Victorian with the harshest burns (we have Twitter for that), we could definitely do with a modern version of Vinegar Valentines.

Because let’s be honest, even if these cards went out of style a century ago, if we had to spread some hate, why not do it with some effort? Why send some lazy DM when we can send a beautifully illustrated card?

Views expressed by the author are their own.