The Quiet, Everyday Acts of Love We Often Overlook

Why are we conditioned to think that falling in love can only be of a sexual kind? Love has many shades. In all the mayhem and chaos, love manages to remain one of the most beautiful emotions ever. That is why it must be celebrated. Also in love resides, kindness, compassion and joy. Truly the need of the hour. 

During my teenage years, love for me was the little pink hearts cut from coloured paper, glued on a music CD of Kenny G, Bryan Adams or a curated list of love songs for your crush, who in your childlike heart is nothing less than Tom Cruise or Aamir Khan. 

Your innocent heart believes in true love. 

It is only after the facade comes off,  Tom Cruise starts to look like Tired Tajinder from Munirka in New Delhi, who can’t emote or reciprocate your idea of love. To overcome this sadness, you eat away the sorrow with a Nirula’s hot chocolate fudge. At this phase, you don’t recognise that in the later years too, you will use food to comfort your dashed dreams. 

As the years pass, the heart may have been broken a couple of times, by now and you realise the chase is quite elusive. Most Aamir Khan lookalikes are not so “amir” in their heart or in their pocket. 

You begin to acknowledge that this narrow idea, of love is slowly starting to become outdated as you age. 

The journey can be confusing and full of rife. Because there are married couples posting photos on Valentine’s Day on your social media feed. You wonder, what did they do differently from you? 

The jaded part of the heart chuckles away, that tomorrow they will get back to snapping at one another. 

So on that note, for creatures like me, who have learnt to understand that there are many kinds of love, that exists on this planet, that remain undefined and not celebrated enough are as the following : 

1. Reading books, pausing in between as you soak in the description of a place, a person or the inevitability of life’s meandering path. 
2. Drinking your morning cup of coffee, when the silence is divine, as the caffeine aroma lingers in your olfactory senses, you fall in love with that moment. It’s transient just like love but has great spiritual depth. 
3. Your regular vegetable vendor who tells you that he got the best tomatoes only for you, as you complained about the quality last time. He remembers that he disappointed you. He wishes to not lose you as a coveted customer. 
4. Your cook who makes the most nutritious dal chawal and fried potatoes to soothe your tiredness. 
5. Going to watch a play or a movie with your mother. 
6. Making art that no one will ever see. 

All of this is love, just that it’s not part of the Valentine’s Day cacophony.

Mohua Chinappa is an author, poet, podcaster. She runs two podcasts. The Mohua Show and The Literature Lounge. She is also a member of an award-winning London based non-profit think tank called Bridge India.