Let’s Stop Judging Moms. There’s No Perfect Formula For Raising Kids

Yamini Pustake Bhalerao
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Let’s Stop Judging Moms. There’s No Perfect Formula For Raising Kids

Tutoring or not tutoring children at home is a popular bone of contention among mothers. At the receiving end of criticism are mothers who opt for tuition for young kids. The mommy war gets nastier if the concerned ward is only in pre-school. There are many reasons why parents send their children to tuition. But the only reason behind shaming someone for doing so is the belief of superiority. It is also very insensitive to make assumptions, without making attempts to understand why some moms seek tuition for preschoolers.


Be a little considerate

Pre-school education isn’t what it used to be twenty or ten years ago. In fact, there is little or no semblance in the Jr. or Sr. KG syllabus today, and what it was when we were in school.

The difference is wide or small, depending on the board of education, place of residence and the school itself. For example, while we were taught to write in cursive, in four-line notebooks, it is no longer the style of penmanship kids are taught in schools today. Add to that the immense task of getting the phonics right.


  • Many mothers face shaming from other mums, for sending their children to tuition, instead of coaching them at home.
  • With changes in curriculum and teaching techniques, tutoring wards at home, even at a young age is quite a challenge.
  • The task only becomes much more difficult, when there are personal challenges thrown into this equation.

My daughter’s school is kind enough to hold a session for us every year, just so we know what we will be dealing with in the coming session. But still, it is quite challenging to tutor your child the school’s way and not how you learned things.


Mixing the techniques, after all, will only make matters worse. Some days it feels like we are engaged in a duel with Jr. KG syllabus, getting cut and nicked every now and then.

But this is just one aspect of the struggle with modern pre-school education. Sometimes the problem stems from a personal or familial situation.

Many kids have learning disorders, which makes it difficult for parents to tutor them. In such cases guidance from trained professionals makes it so much easier for both parents and children to tackle learning. And then there are mums who just have their hands too full. Take my mother, for example.

I remember being packed off to tuition classes when I was in the second standard. The reason was that my mother had to often shuttle between the town and the not so nearby village where my father was posted. All this while being pregnant and then later caring for my newborn sibling. Hence, while my grandparents took care of me at home, the responsibility of my studies was thrust on a tuition teacher. I would have been in this arrangement at a younger age, had this situation presented itself a few years earlier in my childhood. Would I have thought less of my mother, for packing me off to tuition then? Definitely not. Which is what every member of the mom’s club needs to understand.

There are many reasons why parents put their children’s education in the hands of a tuition teacher. Not every reason can be discussed on WhatsApp groups or Facebook clubs. So why not hold the horses of judgement and give these mums the benefit of mutual understanding? Parenting presents difficulties in almost every aspect of bringing up a child. We all struggle at one or the other task. Keep your own failures and future challenges in mind before shaming other mums. Life would be so much easier for all of us, if there is one thing less on our list to feel guilty about.

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Also Read : Parenting Dilemma – When to Stop Kissing Your Child on the Lips

Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section. The views expressed are the author’s own.

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