I'm Done: What Kicked Off My Villain Era (And How You Can Start Yours)

I've noticed many memes saying things like "I'm entering my villain era." It's a humorous example of exaggeration that's frequently used to denote a minor infraction. The "villain era" meme's original meaning, however, is far more intriguing. You are ready to set some limits in your life and stop people-pleasing when you enter your villain era. Being the oldest daughter, I felt the pressure to be perfect and follow instructions, which left little time for me to just be myself. Being in my villain age isn't about me hatching evil schemes in my dark lair; rather, it's about establishing limits, letting go of my need to satisfy others, and, at last, making the decision to prioritise myself. 

Deciphering what embracing and stepping into your villain era looks like

Young people's rejection of corporate hustle culture has played a significant role in the villain era. People who are only just beginning in the workforce already have had enough of it after they see how unrealistic the standards are for lower and middle-management workers. They're establishing boundaries between work and personal life rather than working 10 or 12 hours a day for a company that doesn't even care about them. But it's about more than jobs when you enter your villain era. It's about establishing limits in every area of your life.

This entails making every effort to avoid people-pleasing, not giving in to the demands and whims of others, and putting the wants of others after your own. It may be isolating and many people will begin questioning your motives. Why are you being so self-absorbed? What do you do that is more important than me? How dare you not do as I say when I tell you to? This is what you've always done, so why now? 

Others will battle with you for it, just as they will battle with you for any hindrance. People who are accustomed to being joyful will try to manipulate you back into it as soon as you cease being a people-pleaser. As a teenager, all I needed was the approval of others. Without it, we usually fought and had pointless arguments. Years later, I've realised that I don't need other people's approval. I've had enough of giving up my happiness, my time, my energy, and my health. I completely loved my villain phase when I started setting my boundaries, stating them, and not feeling bad about them.

Why self-care isn't selfish and how you can finally step into the era of setting boundaries

I want to reiterate that you need to set reasonable boundaries. People will provoke you more until they get what they want from you because they are no longer getting it abruptly. You need to understand that you are not bad or deplorable because you have embraced your villain era. When I am setting boundaries, I am not being cruel or immoral suddenly. On the other hand, it makes me a nice person, allows me to pick my own rules, and to live and dress however I please with no fear. It does hurt when people leave and establishing boundaries can enable you to eliminate toxic people from your life. 

It's possible to feel like you've done something horrible and you will be misunderstood by a lot of people, but that does not mean you should stop making yourself a priority. 

Individuals often become aggressive or argumentative when you stop treating them in the manner in which they are used. That's perhaps why setting boundaries might make you feel like a villain. Even when you are doing something that will ultimately benefit your health, you receive so much criticism and trouble about it that it makes you feel like you are entirely at fault. Friendships get lost because others who care for you, or whom you think should care for you, are upset that you are not dealing with them in the same manner that you once were.

Whether it is friends or family, if you are setting boundaries for your good and it causes them to have problems with you and leave your life, they should depart. Because more often than not, they only cared for you because you were easy to manipulate and gave them what they wanted. Now as you step into your villain era, your boundaries and self-assuredness make you a person who is hard to manipulate. 

And if you are wondering how can you finally step into your villain era, here is how-

• Putting your needs ahead of other people's.

• Reassessing your connections and cutting off unsupportive individuals.

• Being able to say "no" when it makes you uncomfortable.

• Only taking part in social events and activities that meet your needs, excite you, or motivate you.

• Requesting the things you feel you are entitled to.

• Establishing your limits and confronting those who disregard them.

• Reimagining the bodily manifestation of this altered self.

Yes, the phrase "entering your villain era" is a kind of sarcastic joke, but the idea behind it is that's how people on the other side of the line perceive you. But it shouldn't matter whether or not they see you as a villain if your boundaries are serving your needs. Because taking time for self-care is not evil and nobody should be able to convince you otherwise. It's all right to have a joke about it as well; if pretending to be bad in a humorous light about setting limits is a trend that roars on social media, then do it. 

Simply realise that stepping into their villain phase is simply a way to enforce limits. It is time all of us step into our villain eras and embrace the need to water our souls and purpose first, everyone and everything else can wait.

Views expressed by the author are their own.