Fabulous Over Forty Festival Taught Me One Big Lesson: Just Show Up

IMD warned of heavy to very heavy rainfall. “Unsafe” Andheri Subway was shut down. Thunderstorm. Lightning. Intense traffic snarls. 
Add: mommy duty, wife duty, daughter duty, home duty, office duty, single-woman struggles, married woman challenges, random female breakdowns! In a nutshell – Bright red alert plus Monday morning blues equals a deep, dark shade girl.

Yet, you showed up; you glowed up! Slaying it with your smile, swag and smarts.

Half The Battle Won

It was "Rainin' (Wo)men" at the Fabulous Over Forty festival, with a bit of savage to truly embody the power of the pause that SheThePeople founder, 'shero' Shaili Chopra, envisioned. For once, you owned your space. Embraced me-time. Prioritised self-care. Think about it. You may have entered the SheThePeople conclave at The Lalit, Mumbai, as a legit 'fab over 40', but you left as the OG Goddess.

Kavyal Sedanni was spot on with her psycho healing. I felt it. You felt it. Sound-healer Nishtha felt it. Psychometric assessor Niharika definitely felt it. We all felt it. The super-power within. “Women are dangerous,” we were reminded. Good dangerous that is, if we choose to believe in ourselves. If we choose to focus on “what makes me happy today.” 

For most, September 15 was all about #FabulousOverForty and taking it from there. “Sometimes the bravest and the most important thing you can do is just show up.” Host Mugdha Kalra was all of us when she spoke of how “we all knew what to do” the theory bit, it was the “how” – a definitive “push to do stuff” - which often left us desperately seeking mojo.

Precisely where the SheThePeople platform brought us all together in a sisterhood of candid conversations on the Science of Her to Shape a New Narrative on M-Bracing a hormone-happy Balance in every Act of our life as the female protagonist of our plot. The tangent from miserable to magical is as short or as long and unwinding as you choose, so without being afraid of the “M-word” as Dr Sheetal Gagrani called it, understanding and managing “every decade” of your life was crucial, according to Chef Shonali Sabherwal. 

For that, you needed to “keep the spark” alive, chipped in Sexpert Pallavi Barnwal, sharing charming anecdotes of her lived experience. 
As the front row dialogue progressed into the sisterhood of storytelling, actor-activist Dia Mirza and filmmaker Sakshi Mishra directed the spotlight firmly on “the refreshing level of empathy and attention to detail” that shaped female perspective, bringing about a “safe and inclusive space” for culturally-rich creativity to flourish. 

Cue for former Meta head Sandeep Bhushan to take charge. And how. His child-like eagerness to be the authentic ally in a woman’s avataar 2.0 phase of life led to hearty chuckles, especially his “shared and academic” entry into the estrogen-progesterone conundrum. As if that wasn’t enough, House of Cheer founder Raj Nayak completely stole the show with his “but I don’t see any 40-plus women here” banter. Left us all a joyful mass of happy clappers. 

40+ and Fierce

As hard statistics took over, though, thoughts turned to how the boardrooms still have an abysmally low percentage of women. Former Crisil head Roopa Kudva attributed this to three barriers – likeability, lack of self-belief and poor self-advocacy. So, what’s the way out? What are the tools for re-invention? How does one navigate the crippling and ambiguous comfort zone that keeps many women running in loops?

Da Milano’s Shivani Malik, St Jude’s Mukeeta Jhaveri and Director Swati Sapna echoed the urgent need to move into an impact mode of mentorship, sponsorship and micro-contribution to provide the much-needed “wind” beneath the wings of women who have the will to fly. A woman’s struggle is real, and her story goes way beyond youth and beauty, so let’s not get lost in any performative sisterhood playact. Instead, Actor Tisca Chopra and Director Juhi Babbar advocated the “be focused on the authentic you” mantra.

One of the first steps towards that goal was prioritising your health via customised nutrition – a concept quite alien to the majority of women worldwide. Harping on the “no sugar” non-negotiable, Dimple Bawri from Nira Balance explained the importance of food awareness and stress management.

Lean muscle mass, movement and menopause were all interlinked, according to Dr Nozer Sheriar; however, there was no “one-size-fits-all” solution. Individualistic handling was key. The biggest roadblock? Nearly 87% of women with Menopause or Perimenopause symptoms did not want to discuss the topic, pointed out Abbott India’s Dr Rohita Shetty, presenting The Next Chapter Campaign to fight taboos and kickstart conversation through shared experiences.

No point being in denial on something so natural, so normal. Citing her own case, fitness guru Nawaz Modi Singhania prodded everyone to “make the move,” if it’s the flow you crave, go pilates; if dance does it for you, then dance; if you are a water baby, join aqua aerobic! Yoga, run, deadlift – you just gotta move it, move it like bawse cancer-survivor Chhavi Mittal “pushing her limits” every day.

Like Shazia Iqbal, blazing a trail in the male-dominated-ageist film industry. Like Influencer Renu Rakheja, religiously sticking to her self-care routines comes what may. Like face yoga expert Savitu Singh lymphatically drains all our worries away, oxygenating us with shared laughter.

Proof that showing up is self-care 101. And all the esteemed speakers were out-of-their-way generous in acknowledging and appreciating the FabOver40 audience for listening in, participating, taking notes, asking questions, and just being there despite all the busyness and chaos of life. Here, Dr Sudeshna Ray from the Royal College of Gynaecologists stressed the need for women to “involve the family in your journey by roping them in during medical consultations.” That’s how greater understanding and awareness is built.

ACT 3 of life requires realigning a host of relationships from spouse, to friendships, to kids, to colleagues, to self. The shift in identity, pointed out founder India Gary Martin, can be tricky. If you can’t see the way through, TEDx Speaker Dipika Trehan suggested focusing simply on “your next step”, taking lessons from The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse. Instead of too much of that “push energy” to “have it all” and “do it all”, women should learn How To Make Big Impact Without Burning Out, chipped in author Bianca Best. 

Delving into the true beauty code with journalist Rohit Khinani, nutritionist Nicole Kedia, Dermatologist Jaishree Sharad and Simply Nam’s Namrata Soni were one voice in their endorsement of the Eat Right, Sleep Tight, Stretch More, Move-Meditate lifestyle, stressing on being consistent, being strong, being YOU all throughout - the secret to “youthful ageing!”

Remember: 80% of success is just showing up! Turning 40 – that’s a piece of cake - “and a few candles, girl!"

Authored by Gunjan Pant Pande | Views expressed by the author are their own.