Dear Bengali Dads, We Love You But Please Stop Saying These 5 Things

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Things Bengali dads say: Growing up in a Bengal family means growing up in a sheltered ambience. Like most fathers, your fathers are always conscious about every person you meet and every step you take. Even though we share a special bond with them this might seem to be overbearing at times.

Nonetheless, it comes from a place of concern and they mean no harm to us. They love to spoil us too. They are our allies in many things in life as we grow up. However, if you have grown up in a Bengali household chances are you have heard all or some of these pet peeves:

5 things Bengali dads say that make our eyes roll

1. Eto sheje guje kothay jachhish

Thanks to the pandemic, daughters haven’t heard this in a while. Translates as “Where are you going all decked up?” But this surely tops the list of things Bengali dads say. In a pre-COVID-19 world, dads would become anxious to know the reason why their daughters have put on dressy clothes, jewellery and makeup. Dear dads, we love ‘getting ready’ even for the smallest get-togethers. So it’s not surprising when you see your daughters going to meet their friends in an elaborate outfit, high heels and eye-catching make-up.

2. Aami jaani na, maa ke jigesh kor

Why do all Bengali dads say this? You ask their permission for something and they’ll tell you to ask your mother. Dad, mom sent me to you. Can’t keep going back and forth. The two of you have a discussion, reach a conclusion and let me know. Dear parents, we are tired of being treated this way. We ask for your permission before carrying out a task because we respect you. That is why we expect the same from you.

3. Taratari ghoom theke uthte parish na!

Let’s all agree, we are a generation that cannot sleep or wake up early. If we go to bed late in the night, it’s obvious that we can’t wake up at 6:00 in the morning. Moreover, what are we even supposed to do at that time of the day! But our fathers still believe in the “early to bed, early to rise” theory. Dear Bengali dads, calm down. We don’t wake up at an astonishingly late hour. It’s just that we take our own time to start the day and that’s okay.

4. Aage porashona kor, tarpor onno kotha hobe

Bengali fathers and their obsession with our studies! Can’t even tell how tiring it is to see them relate every little thing to books and grades. You wanna go on a trip with friends, they tell you to first complete your syllabus. You discuss your plan to buy a new cell phone with them, they ask you to wait till your exams are over. In short, no matter what happens, Bengali dads won’t stop prioritising studies over everything else. For them, our studies should never take a backseat and we must always aim towards scoring high in exams.

5. Nijer kaaj nijeyi korte hoye

It might feel tiresome to listen to this but our dads want us to be independent which is why they insist that we do not ask for help all the time. While we appreciate your concern, we also expect you to understand that sometimes, we may have a tendency to fall back on you and seek your help. In times like these, all we want is that you support us so that we learn. Being more experienced, you can guide us better so that we can manage things on our own from the next time.

Though we might get offended at times with these comments, we must admit that at the end of the day, they are our well wishers and want us to prosper. Thus, let us not think of them as being the demons of our lives and just let them know that we love them.