Dear Men, Instead Of Depending On Women, Please Learn To Take Care Of Yourself

Why do men feel that their masculinity is boosted by earning money while it is harmed by cooking food for themselves?

Rudrani Gupta
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 Women are always taught that their duty is to take care of men and keep them happy. They are told to devote their time and effort to fulfilling the needs of men so that they feel cared for and valued. But what about women’s comfort and needs? Who takes care of women’s well-being? Women themselves. Then why can’t men do the same? Why can’t men look after themselves instead of depending on women for the same?

Men in our society are brought up being dependent on women. When they are kids, their needs are taken care of by their mothers and sisters. After they get married, their wives are made responsible for their day-to-day care. Men are never expected to worry about who will wash and iron the clothes, what meal should be cooked, or who fetches dirty socks from their shoes and puts in them in the washing machine. They are used to having everything served on the plate for them, while they put their feet up and relax.

Taking care of men: A chore that women conditioned to perform

I am not saying that men have no work to do. They have a job that keeps them engaged in the day. But it is not as if women are sitting ideal at home. Homemakers have to perform housework and parenting duties while working women have to fulfil all these duties aside from their work commitments.

Even in bed, women have to take care of men’s happiness. Sex becomes a medium of providing satisfaction to men. It has nothing to do with women’s orgasm. But is this fair? Why can't men be held accountable for satisfying their partners in the way that women are?

When it comes to women’s happiness, it is either ignored or taken care of by women themselves. They rarely expect men, to whom they devote their time and effort, to give them happiness and take care of their needs. Men feel that as long as they bring home the bacon their job is done. It is as if gender and the capability to earn a paycheck gives men the privilege to be served?


Suggested Reading: Dear Women, Let Us Build Each Other Up And Topple Patriarchy

The reason behind this gender inequality is male privilege and ego. Men do not consider themselves responsible for taking care of their needs. They feel that their masculinity is boosted by earning money while it is harmed by cooking food for themselves. They feel their masculinity lies in passing orders and not in doing &t=32s">chores like making the bed or fetching a glass of water for themselves. On the other hand, women are made responsible for men’s happiness because society has deemed them to be the inferior gender. Because women are touted to be caregivers, serving husbands, sons or fathers is considered their duty.

But women today have dreams and ambitions to achieve. They have started acknowledging their desires and are not willing to put them on the backburner for anyone. They are reclaiming their rights to be happy rather than keeping them aside to serve patriarchy. When women will be busy taking care of their own needs and happiness, men will be left with no option but to take care of themselves on their own. In fact, it is the basic human need to be able to provide for one’s own needs and keep oneself happy.

If a person cannot even do that and needs to depend on someone else, there is some serious fault in their identity as a person. Either they haven’t gotten rid of the dependent child within them or they are just too lazy and uncivilised to be self-sufficient. So please dear men, get rid of the gender power play and start taking care of yourself. Because if women wake up one day and decide not to babysit you, where will you seek happiness? Is it healthy for any human, be it man or woman, to depend on others to be fully functional members of the household or society?

Views expressed are the author's own. 

male privilege