Is It Worth It For Women To Lower Their Dating Standards?

Women are often told they should lower their unrealistic standards when it comes to dating or finding a partner. However, is it actually worth it?

Avishka Tandon
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How often are women told to lower their standards? How often have you been told that keeping unrealistic expectations from men will lead you nowhere? Have you ever thought about whether your expectations were unrealistic or is it men who can't put in basic efforts in a relationship?

If you are also contemplating your standards, here's what you should know.

Women are often told that they should not have unrealistic standards or expectations from men and should try to accept men as they are. The male fraternity is very upset with women looking for a certain 'type' of man which, according to them, doesn't exist. The word 'high standards' and standards set by fictional men have been exploited to an extent that women actually think that asking the bare minimum from their partner is unrealistic.

However, have you ever thought if lowering your standards is worth it? Were your standards ever high to begin with or were they just didn't want to put in efforts? Here are a few examples of women who lowered their standards for men and what they ended up becoming.

Suggested Reading: Living In A Fairytale: Why Are Women's Expectations Labelled Unrealistic


Women Lowering Dating Standards

A Reddit thread on @AskWomen asked female Reddit users if they ever lowered their standards and if was it worth it. The users in the comment section described how lowering their standards had different results and will clarify which standards are unrealistic and which are not. A woman wrote about her experience of how she quit her dream job and had a kid with a guy she lowered her standards for and ended up as a divorced single mom.

That's what happens when you lower your bare minimum expectations. In a relationship, demanding respect, love, effort, loyalty, trust and liberty is really important. It is not unrealistic to ask your man to be a decent guy and partner. That's something you should never compromise with ever.

On the other hand, a user wrote about how she only dates guys who had a car, a job and education and career goals in high school. Though she dated a few guys that fit the criteria, they were all bad experiences. She shared how she went out of her way to date a jobless guy with no intention of higher education and a barely maintained lifestyle.

However, within a month of dating, he started making changes in his life for the better. He got a job and dedicated himself to it, improved his grades and even went to college and secured a full-time job. She got married to him and was happy to see him change his life for the better.

Many Indian women are raised to have such expectations from men. They are told that a man should be able to earn and have a secure future in order to marry them. That's why there are still women who expect their husbands to earn more or be the sole breadwinner and take on other patriarchal male responsibilities. Expectations such as these are the ones that are unrealistic.


And that's when they compromise their respect and dignity to marry a guy who is rich and well-settled. When it comes to love, respect and equality, it has to go both ways. When you love a person, money or social status should not matter. That's because you can build everything with the right person and ruin everything with the wrong. When both of you are aware of your responsibility towards each other, you will strive to do better.

When it comes to standards, make sure you are lowering the ones that are shallow and not the ones that are basic and bare minimum. Asking for respect, space, love, trust, loyalty or care is not unrealistic. Make sure you are aware of what you want from your partner in the long run and abide by those standards no matter what people say. Trust me, the one who will love you with his heart will surely try to be a better person, a person you want and deserve.

Views expressed by the author are their own.

women and dating reddit thread Dating Standards