#Opinion

Living In A Fairytale: Why Are Women’s Expectations Labelled Unrealistic

What Women Expect From Men, Women's Childhood Experiences Affect Their Relationships
“Stop living in a fairytale, be more realistic”, very often we see such comments being directed at women who keep certain expectations from men around them. However, if roles are reversed, it ends up becoming the duty of the woman to meet men’s expectations or demands, how is that fair?

These days, if a woman expects to be treated nicely and respectfully by a man, she is said to be unrealistic. If she asks her man not to yell at her or not to disrespect her or not to dictate what she wears or where she goes, she is considered to be demanding a lot and that it is just how men are. Now, switch the role and consider a man keeping expectations from a woman, which they always had. For ages we have seen men looking for a woman who can work at home and at the office, can handle the business as well as children, can be a sanskaari bahu and a sexy wife, all in one. However, no one told them that keeping such contrasting expectations was absurd and unrealistic.


Suggested Reading: Why Are Men Allowed To Be Men But Women Are Expected To Be Superwomen?


What Women Expect From Men?

A Reddit thread shared on @TwoXChromosomes asked described how a woman noticed a new manipulation technique which was when men called women’s expectations as ‘living in a fairytale’. The comments had stories of how behaving decently with women was considered as ‘asking for too much’. A comment read, “Absolutely. Most often when I tell them not to physically intimidate me. Because they “have to” be allowed to “get mad.” Funny, I never said you couldn’t be mad. I said don’t act physically aggressive when you are mad. But apparently, that’s impossible.”

It is important to understand the double standards that society follows when it comes to expectations. Women are expected to handle everything well, be superwomen at work and home, earn and raise kids at the same time without complaining or taking a break. If they somehow protest against it, they are advised to adjust. On the other hand, when a woman expects something from a man, whether it is loyalty or respect or non-violence, she gets to hear ‘men will be men’ as a way of saying that it is an impossible or unrealistic situation.

Objectionable behaviour such as gas-lighting, cheating, abusing and not asking for consent is often a free pass for men to do absolutely anything and blame it on their anatomy. Whereas women are shamed for not being able to work non-stop for 25 hours a day. Decent behaviour and treatment are basic human nature and not some mythological creatures or emotions out of a fairytale book. If an advanced creature with a highly functional and complex brain like man can’t do it, humanity is really in trouble.

We need to encourage women to keep expectations and never settle for less when it comes to being treated, whether by a man or anyone. Being mistreated is not funny or romantic, it is wrong. When a woman has certain qualities she is looking for in a man, she is not asking for too much or living in a fairytale, she is just highly aware of what she wants and who she wants in her life.