Beaten & Starved For Having Daughters: Who Said Gender Bias Was A Thing Of Past?

Bearing daughters is no longer seen as a curse for women, as long as you are part of a progressive family or manage to bear a son as well. From we don't want daughters, the Indian society has seen a shift to we don't mind daughters, with terms and conditions applied. What happens when these terms are not met? When a woman only bears daughters but no sons? That's when we find out how prevalent gender bias is in our society, even today.

A woman in Uttar Pradesh's Mahoba district was allegedly beaten and starved by her husband and in-laws because she had two daughters and they wanted her to bear them a son. According to her, "My husband and in-laws tortured me for not conceiving a son. The harassment had increased after my second daughter was born." After not being fed by her family the woman resorted to working as a labourer.

UP woman beaten for having daughters

A video has surfaced online in which two women can be seen assaulting her while she begs them to stop. According to Mahoba's Superintendent of Police Sudha Singh, an FIR has been registered in the case and the woman has been admitted to a hospital for treatment. This is not an isolated incident. Every now and then we hear about incidents of abuse fueled by desperation for a son.

We cannot generalise though. Parents are booking helicopter rides to welcome baby girls. Parents are leaving no stones unturned to ensure that their girls get all the opportunities that they can provide them. Yet, India is a country of contrast, so tucked between these heartwarming stories of progress are crimes that underline that fact that for many Indian families girls can exist but boys are a must- because how else will the family name be carried forward? Who will fend for the parents in their old age? What about the dowry that the future daughter-in-law will bring? And the status and pride that a male child brings to a family?

Suggested Reading: Can We Stop Telling Widows That They Are Being "Punished"?

In March this year, a woman's husband and in-laws allegedly assaulted her with a hot iron rod for giving birth to a baby girl. In 2020, A woman from Haryana reportedly killed her four daughters after she was pressured by her family to bear a male child. Then in 2018, a man allegedly broke his wife's hands for giving birth to three daughters.

Not just violence, the pressure to have a male child often puts women on the path of repeated pregnancies and child birth which could have long term consequences for their health. In 2017, it was reported that a woman from Karnataka birthed 11 daughters in a hope to have a male child. She did get "lucky" the twelfth time.

These stories aren't centuries or decades old. They are part of the narrative of our new and improved society where walls are adorned with messages of Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao.

Where there are government schemes to discourage incidents of female infanticide and early marriages. Well, beti has been saved, but is she loved as much as a beta? How many parents have a sense of fulfilment if they have daughters but no sons? Perhaps governments now need to teach us how to love our daughters and stop pining for sons. To accept, celebrate and love our children, not their gender.

Views expressed are the author's own.