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Suspicion Of Affair Is Not A Valid Reason To Humiliate A Partner Publicly. It's Cruelty

There are multiple ways of dealing with a marital conflict. Public shaming is certainly not one of them.

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Ritika Joshi
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Extramarital affairs can severely damage the self-esteem of a person and result in a loss of trust in a partner. Suspecting your partner of having an affair and accusing them of one openly, without any proof are two different things. What's more, if you let your suspicion affect their work life, then it is nothing short of torture. Accusing somebody of an extramarital without any evidence and causing a scene in their office not only destroys the sense of trust between the partners but also influences how colleagues view the person.
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One woman decided to visit her husband’s workplace, caused a scene in front of his colleagues, and then filed a complaint against him without submitting any evidence, simply because she suspected that he was having an affair. Now her actions have landed her in legal trouble and rightly so.

The Madras High Court held that the act of suspecting the character of a spouse, visiting their office, creating a scene in their office, and then filing a complaint against them without proof amounts to mental cruelty.

Wife accuses husband of affair, creates scene at his workplace

A division bench of Justices V M Velumani and S Sounthar granted divorce to the man whose wife suspected his character and created a ruckus at his workplace. The bench noted that the wife used filthy language and linked her husband to a female teaching staff in the presence of the college students and colleagues.

The bench inferred that the wife's actions amounted to mental cruelty and thus had caused “serious, irreparable injury to the image of the husband in the minds of his colleagues and students”.


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Suggested Reading: When We Talk About Marriage To Women, We Should Also Normalise Divorce


The husband appealed to the Madras High Court and was challenging an order of a Family Court that denied him a decree of divorce on the grounds of cruelty.

The wife, on the other hand, claimed that her husband was speaking to other female lecturers and said he used to speak with them on his cellphone until midnight.

The wife, a government school teacher, and the husband, a lecturer in a medical college got married in 2008 and lived together for two and a half years. During the hearing, the husband pointed out that in 2011, his wife removed her Mangalsutra when she left. The bench ruled that removing the Mangalsutra showed that the party did not intend to continue the marital relationship and the Court allowed the appeal and granted divorce to the husband.

Defamation Of Character

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The woman had no proof that her husband was involved with his colleague, but still proceeded to cause a scene at his workplace. Not just that, she defamed her husband and his colleague the brunt of which they might have to bear for years to come, in form of office gossip. While some relationships are bound to end, the way they unravel could lead to scars that a person has to carry for a lifetime.

Marital issues, like any other conflict, need to be resolved with the intent of seeking solutions, even if it is in the form of separation. With public shaming, all that a person does is to wound their partner, humiliate them and extract revenge of sorts, because they feel that they have been wronged. But cruelty is never justified, even in case of infidelity.

The woman could have opted for a legal recourse and moved on with her life. Besides, she had no right to humiliate her husband's colleague. When it comes to affairs, women face shaming and scrutiny more than men. Even when they are not the cheating partner, they are labelled as the "home wreaker". So isn't it our collective responsibility as women to protect each other against social stereotypes? To ensure that a woman's character isn't unnecessarily assassinated, or joked about, and that they are given the respect that they deserve in every conversation that their comes up in? To no fault of hers, her husband's colleague's name got dragged in a scandal she was not remotely associated with. Wouldn't this have affected her mental health or her standing as a teacher?

The act of shaming a partner for an alleged affair (without any proof) publicly is cruel and avoidable. All it takes is some patience to ensure that your actions don't disrupt someone's public image forever.

Views expressed are the author's own.

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