Sexist Wedding Rituals That We Need To Get Rid Off: Indian Marriages are often known for their rich tradition and culture. From “Joota Chori” rasam to the fishing the ring game I find it super fun. But let’s not make the fun rituals outshine the sexist ones as there’s a lot of sexism in some rituals that we often ignore in the name of traditions, culture, and beliefs but these misogynistic rituals should be disregarded asap.
Check out these 9 sexist rituals that we need to get rid off:
Ever heard of the phrase “Aapki amaanat ab meri hui“? Gifting the bride away in charity to the groom’s family is as low as it gets. It is bad enough that a person has to give up an entire life, to go take care of another family, because she was born female. But the fact that men and women today accept treating a woman as an item to be given away is shameful.
2. Dowry System
Parents saving money all their life, selling properties and jewelry so that their daughter can get married in a good family and they can give enough to the groom’s family is very disappointing and disgusting at the same time. at one place where we feel sad for our parents, worrying about our marriage fund, and at the other place we feel the angst against them for succumbing to the societal pressures.
3. Manglik Rituals
This ritual is only followed by the families who believe in horoscopes and one of the tragic ones is called Manglik, which means that any man marrying a woman who is Manglik will face bad luck. The only “Magic Bullet” to this is to get the girl married to a dog or a peepal tree which helps clear her horoscope. But at the same time, the Manglik men do not have to go through this ritual. We sense extreme double standards here.
4. Absent Mother
In Bengali weddings, the mother of both, the bride and the groom are not allowed to witness the wedding. They say a mother’s eyes will emit the worst curse on her child. If something goes wrong in the marriage, it would not be because of the abusive behaviour or in laws or domestic violence but a mother’s “Nazar.” Again, how is, this sensible enough?
5. Washing Feet
One of the most disgusting rituals is the bride’s mother washing the feet of the groom when welcoming him to marry her daughter. How can a gentleman allow an elder lady to touch his feet? If he can’t wash his own feet, is he even ready to get married? Also, in many customs, the bride is expected to touch the groom’s feet for blessings. Pati Parameshwar indeed.
Ever heard your mom saying that you are “paraaya dhan“? It means that they see you as someone else’s treasure and you will go to “Apne Ghar” one day, that is your in-law’s house. So technically, her in-law’s home, again, not hers. Now, before she leaves, she has to throw a handful of rice over her head symbolizing repaying the “debt” she had at her father’s house. So, yes girls, you are staying rent-free in someoneone else’s home.
7. Pati Ka Ashirwaad
In many customs, the bride is expected to touch the groom’s feet for blessings because of Pati Parmeshwar Pratha. But in today’s time when men and women are equal, why should the husband be treated like a God? Why can’t a man do the same? where is the sense of equity?
8. Kashi Yatra
This one is the most illogical ritual I ever came across. This ritual is followed by South Indians in which the groom pretends to leave the marriage mid-way and the bride’s father has to run, beg the groom to marry his daughter. He has to perform some rituals that are demeaning to feel humiliated by the way, to change the groom’s mind. The bride is supposed to silently marry the person who is being persuaded into a life with her.
In most Indian cultures, the bride’s family gifts the groom’s family a lot of gifts and money as shagun. While we may dismiss this as just a minor expense but we need to ask ourselves something. Why is this respect only one-sided?
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