Despite differences in the way we do our hair or choose our jobs or enjoy our food, there are some common experiences that bind us, Indian women, together in a sisterhood of silent solidarity. Below the age of 30, we’re all collectively rolling our eyes and struggling to deal with pressures to marry, to follow social convention, to make chai, to be the ‘good girls’ society wants us to be. Thanks to the internet, we have a place to share our woes with each other.
Twitter is loaded with gems that desi women far and wide will recognise as daily experiences. Here are some relatable tweets for us to laugh and cry together about. Cheers to us!
1. Desi women who know desi men know what to expect in marriage
Indian men get married for regular sex, for owning the sexual autonomy of the woman, for maintaining the ancestoral property in the same male lineage and yes, to have free household labour plus to get away with most daily responsibilities. https://t.co/36wkevdt85
— Swati K. (@mynameswatik) May 11, 2021
2. They don’t know what it’s called, but they’re pros at gaslighting
bruh that literally happened this morning 😭 desi moms 🤝 gaslighting https://t.co/Gk1Y9WHq9f
— Dee ✨ (@filterdee) March 4, 2021
3. Is there an award for being an all-rounder, overachieving woman? Or just being a woman?
Being a woman in an Indian household: You must be educated, work full time, cook, raise the kids single-handedly & manage the household. You are shamed for using your money to hire a helper, cook or nanny, as you're not a real Indian woman if you don't do all of that yourself.
— تنوير (@TanveerJeewa) October 11, 2020
4. A drinking game to make the next family dinner bearable
Drinking game for every 28 and above single desi woman: take a shot for every time you are told 'Beta, NObody is perfect, you have to compromise' at family dinner. Would be blinding drunk before the kulfi is served.
— Borahaeistan (@borahaeistan) September 19, 2021
5. When women, single or married, are made to feel incomplete without motherhood
Why is not having children such a curse in India? Children aren't the end all and be all of life. For that matter, not even marriage. Why do people taunt unmarried people? Or those who don't have children? Why is choosing to be child free looked down upon? This shitty mentality!
— Aditi (@Velvetyvirgo) December 18, 2019
6. Desi girls sisterhood supremacy!
The only people who understand desi girls living in a strict brown household problems are other desi girls living in strict brown household and that's about it
— Fatima (@patimayyy) September 27, 2021
7. The pandemic’s social distancing protocol is honestly a blessing at this point
to think i get cold sweat when i as much as look at a picture of the inside of an indian train because i’ve been harassed/molested 8 out of 10 times i’ve been on a train journey lol gotta love being a woman in this country
— p (@plantarina) September 30, 2021
8. Men in Indian households recognised for the bare minimum. Hypocrisy much?
— averjitdhillon🌸🌸 (@kauraverjit) November 9, 2021
9. Is a family gathering complete without at least one uncle reading out a wife WhatsApp joke?
Desi men showcase their humour by insulting their wives in family gathering and think they're actually funny. No Mangesh you deserve a slap right on your face at the spot
— Milan (@HoaxAndDost) November 13, 2021
10. Come on, above 20 and not being asked about marriage? That sounds suspicious
should i be offended because i'm a 23 year old indian woman and not a single relative has called my parents with a proposal for me?
— venda mone (@mrinininininini) May 7, 2021
11. Hope India is preparing itself for generations of empowered women to come
It is hilarious to watch the faces of desi family when they encounter a woman who knows what she wants & wouldn't settle for anything less, like yes she escaped your brain washing & conditioning & knows her worth & there's nothing you can do about it.
— Affu👩🔬 (@Afifa_Bukhari) June 17, 2021
12. “Pets have better lives than brown girls.” That should be on a t-shirt
i swear desi parents will look you in the eye and tell you that you can’t do something cuz you’re a woman and just expect you to accept it and move on??? i swear pets have better lives than brown girls
— 𝑗𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑖 𝑗𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑖 (@coconutwatre) May 12, 2020
13. The (conditioned) feminine urge to adhere to Eurocentric beauty standards…
Tell a desi girl that she has black hair and she'll drag you in the sun just to show it's actually golden brown
— MOON (@meriijaaann) June 3, 2021
14. Having a boyfriend in a desi household is an extreme sport girls could bring the Olympic home in
y’all telling me malala had a secret boyfriend this whole time, i’m telling you the desi community KNOWS how to keep secrets
— 🙂 (@karachibaddie) November 9, 2021
15. What we want at weddings is a Bollywood-style meet-cute but what we get is this…
Desi aunties go to any wedding, see pretty girls, approaches them, takes their chin in their hand and say, "itni khoobsurat larki, iski zindagi to sirf mera beta barbaad karega."
— Asad Sultan (@AsadSultan18) November 15, 2021
16. Women make relationship mistakes in their 20s and society makes sure they regret it forever
It’s sad how second marriage jokes, despite their blatant insensitivity and humiliating nature, are an acceptable part of desi society. Apparently making every woman in earshot’s skin crawl in discomfort is… funny?
— Fatima A. J. (@fajtastic) March 22, 2021
17. Which Indian man would stand up to his family to defend his wife?
if prince harry married a desi woman and treated her like he's treating meghan markle none of us brown boys would ever be enough for any desi girl
— Hamza (@boybawarchi) February 3, 2020
18. More of sex education, less of slut-shaming in schools, please
Schools in India can sexualize the bodies of kids, engage in regular slutshaming of young girls and set thousand and one rules for what girls should do with their breasts and vaginas but cannot teach young boys the basic concept of consent and how to not grow up as an abuser.
— Megha Ghosh (@Crazysoul202) May 5, 2021
19. ‘Oh, to be a cow on an Indian street’ – every Indian woman ever
India, where we will make cows safer on the streets at night than woman.
— kya $doge (@jumsumtak) September 16, 2017
20. Eldest daughter, substitute mother, dignity carrier – a multitasker she is
'Are you okay' no, bro. i am the eldest daughter in a desi family
— Uzma. (@adalat_e_uzmaa) October 27, 2021
21. You’re on red alert to sense a stranger’s hand coming close to grope
Being a girl in India means being afraid to look good on a public transport
— Vanshika Luthra (@vanshicant) October 22, 2021
22. Karwa Chauth for some is a celebration. For many others…
Could imagine an average desi home today. Woman wakes up at 4 am to commence her fasting. Then cooks for the family the whole day while not having a drop of water. Men sitting and screaming with the family in front of the TV ordering chai and snacks. Woman dresses up all pretty.
— Miss Nomer 🏳️🌈 Miss Fortune 🏳️🌈 Miss Taken (@whatisdapoint) October 24, 2021
23. Thank you to those unknown desi men in our DMs for daily affirmations!
If not for random desi men in my dms telling me I'm the most beautiful girl they've ever seen, I would have really low self esteem. So, thank you.
— Tanisha Rathore (@TanishaRathore9) November 10, 2021
24. Not just online, but on the streets, in families, at offices, in friend groups
Is there a desi term for mansplaining ? If there isn't there should be one, the amount of unsolicited gyaan we desi women get on here from random men on the TL!
— Greeshma (@opsimath6) June 22, 2021
25. Because this is the only ‘space’ most women in STEM seem to be getting
I need access to Spaces so I can start “spill the chai” conversations where desi women can rant about being a woman in tech.
— Aastha Gaur (@astahearts) December 18, 2020
26. I have many thoughts about this too, read here
Moment of silence for the new Tip Tip Barsa Paani number. If two women wooing the same guy over 27 years while he continues to be "desirable" doesn't tell you anything about Bollywood's sexist, ageist standards, nothing else will.
— Sanika Tillway (@tillwaytweets) November 6, 2021
27. Yes boys, believe it or not, inner beauty is important
someone needs to tell these desi boys that they have to be a decent person to get girls, like bros are trying so hard to look like zayn malik with their sharpie tattoos, and shitty yellow hair, to not even have basic human decency towards women
— lucifer (@m4yawilde) September 14, 2021
28. Tell a young girl in your life today to stop giving a shit about what society says
The older I get, the less I care what other people think about me.
I wish younger me had abandoned people pleasing sooner.
— salvia plath (@ess_kew) July 30, 2021
29. Financial independence FTW! Here’s why it’s important for all women
Subtle sexism-sneaking in jokes abt daddy paying for wardrobe or testing husband's generosity during wedding. Women today can buy their own!
— Pallavi (@That_Desi_Girl) August 30, 2017
30. And people say women aren’t strong…
Desi girls carrying khandaan ki izzat, naak, gherat, rasm, rawaj, expectations, responsibilities, gaslighting, abusive susral and voilent, toxic, misogynist society and still managing to stand tall. ❤ pic.twitter.com/hX9YhZMxa2
— Sheema 🐾 (@SheemaM_) July 18, 2021