Women have spent their entire life hearing some harsh remarks from people around them, sometimes their family, friends, relatives, spouses and at other times even strangers. However, there are some conceptions and thoughts expressed by the men in the society that just tick every bone in your body.
When it comes to patriarchal and misogynist comments, it is really hard to rate them in the order of bad to worse. They are differently elaborated yet equally triggering and problematic all the time. However, there are some things that a man says that are just too disturbing to be said in the open or be left not discussed. Such things really make us rethink whether we really live in an evolved society or if have we just evolved backwards and are in a more sinister place. A Reddit thread asked women, "What’s the worst thing you’ve heard men saying about women?" and the answers will make this point clear.
Suggested Reading: Reddit Thread Discuss: Why Are Hyperfeminine Women Not Taken Seriously?
Problematic Things Men Say
A Reddit user wrote, "I discussed my sexual assault on Twitter and a bunch of incels said that when girls do this they’re trying to humble brag and say they’re attractive and ought to be assaulted. They said I was proud of it. This was two days ago and I basically had a panic attack and started blaming myself all over again. I’ve never been more grossed out." This idea in itself is a reflection of what society thinks whenever there is a crime against women. People are too quick to judge the woman for the dress she was wearing, the time she was out, the friends she had or the place she was in instead of blaming the man for not having control of his senses and not understanding that the woman is uncomfortable.
When the entire society is into victim blaming, the men too try to find ways to justify such behaviour because they know they can make the tables turn with a little misogyny. Assaults don't happen with permission and trauma is nothing to brag about which is such a simple thing to be not understood by these men.
Another user wrote, "Literally I quote- well if she’s ugly than I can just put a bag over her head, as long as she has a hole I can fuck". This notion is so problematic because it is the 21st century and women are still being seen as nothing but pretty sex toys. Their emotions and feelings don't seem to matter and there are still many men who care only about sex and nothing more. Meanwhile, if a woman thinks that way about men, she is called names and characterless for thinking about such vile things. In fact, thinking about sex is considered wrong for women but for men, being horny is a society-approved personality trait.
A user talked about the recent online trend and wrote, "Women(tea). Boils my blood" referring to the meme which is aimed at stupifying everything a woman does. It is basically those sexist stereotypical behaviour like not being able to drive, misdirections or arguing over things. For centuries, women have been subjected to misogynist jokes in the name of humour which needs to stop or we need more "men(tea)" jokes because we can surely think of a million little things that men do wrong. For example, being an available parent, not knowing basic life skills like cooking and cleaning and managing their household duties and working together.
It is true that it is not all men who have such disturbing ideas but it is also true that there are still such men who exist and their number is quite large. Living as a woman in a society filled with such men is a constant struggle to breathe and to make our own choices. Such notions need to be eradicated before talking about a modern world.
Views expressed by author are their own