Divorce is a really difficult decision for women, not only because of society's stigma around divorced women but also because of the aftermath of separating from their partner. It is because they spend their lives sacrificing everything for their husband's and realise that they never did anything to secure their own future.
The glorification of sacrifices of women and their habit of keeping their needs last is a major reason why women are not empowered these days. Wives and mothers spend their entire lives being a pillar of support for the family, managing household while her husband and children focus on their career. However, what they forget to do is focus on their future as well.
When they realise the cons of these one-sided sacrifices, they find it difficult to come out of that relationship because of reason like what people will say, will they be able to survive without their husband, what will they earn and a lot of other things. That's when they realise that all those years, they did nothing for themselves which only left them helpless. That was also the case in actor Pooja Bedi's divorce.
Pooja Bedi On Her Divorce
Pooja Bedi divorced Farhan Furniturewala, her husband of 9 years in 2003 when her children, Alaya F and Omar Furniturewala were only 6 and 4 years old. Bedi once talked about the struggle she went through when deciding how to separate from her husband. She recalled how she was an equal contributor in her husband's business but was nowhere in the legal ownership. She left her career to make his and realised later that it was not a fulfilling relationship as she was the only one sacrificing everything for her husband.
Bedi recalled how she decided that Furniturewala was not a good husband and wanted to leave him but he insisted her to stay, saying that she was a perfect wife and he didn't want to let her go. That is the case with most women in our society, they spend their entire lives being the perfect wife while not being a decent individual for themselves.
It is not them that their husbands don't want to let go, it is the constant support that they get, a person who will take care of their family while they impose their responsibilities on them, a person who is always there for them even if they don't treat them right.
Women need to understand that a healthy relationship is not about sacrificing your own needs for your partner. It is about growing together in your own field while supporting each other. A woman does not need to give up her career to support her husband's, a good husband will never let her choose between her career and his. They can both focus on their own work while helping each other in personal life.
Pooja Bedi mentioned that she had to start everything from scratch as the divorce laws were not very beneficial for women those days and her husband refused to give any monetary support. She had to make her career from the start and be careful that her divorce did not affect her children. Her case is an example of how important it is to think about your own future no matter how good your relationship is. Your economic security and career while not only support your partner and family but also help in your adverse situations.