“I feel repulsed by my wife,” read a post on Twitter, which intrigued me to read further. A Twitter account that goes by the name Alma shared a couple of screenshots of a man writing about how he feels “unattracted” to his wife after she delivered their baby. Oh, yes, you read it right!
“My wife started grossing me out since the pregnancy. The big belly, stretch marks, acne, and big dark nipples really turn me off,” writes Mr. Narcissist. “Her gut is fat and saggy; her breasts are leaking milk, and her vagina is ruined. She looks old and haggard,” he adds. Excuse me, but is growing a life inside her body, going through hours of labour, and giving birth a joke to this man?
Man Body Shame Pregnant Wife
Does he think the baby is going to be fed without milk leaking from her breasts? Isn’t it so insensitive to say that the vagina that just brought a new life to this world looks ruined? How will the tummy that housed a life for 40 weeks not be saggy?
I’m referring to him as a narcissist because while shaming his wife’s postpartum body, this man also claims that his wife is a sweet, selfless, and caring woman and that he loves her a lot. He also claims to love being a father. Apparently, he feels like the world’s biggest a-hole to say all this but again says he can’t continue in a sexless marriage. If all he wants from marriage is sex, why not hire a sex worker? Have a baby through surrogacy? Why even bother to get married? If he is so concerned about his wife’s body, then he truly was only lusting over her and never loved her.
Apparently, the man is 37 and the wife is 25; they have been married for the past six years. Although the woman was unsure about having a baby because she worried that it would take a toll on her body, the man had convinced her of having a child. Now that he has a child, his purpose has been served, and he doesn’t seem to want the woman anymore. Are women birthing machines?
This man claimed that lately he has been “tempted” by a co-worker. Maybe she is “fit and young,” just the way he likes women to be, and that is attracting him. He has just objectified and sexualized another woman by calling her “tempting.” Isn’t that another woman with bodily autonomy? But this man has reduced her to nothing but an object of lust. Does he think women are some sort of dish to be served on a platter according to his taste whenever he wants?
I wouldn’t stoop so low, but I really can’t help wondering if this 37-year-old Romeo thinks he is some Greek god. He is already nearing his forties, so isn’t he going to get man boobs, a pot belly, grey hair, baldness, and wrinkled skin?
Aging and bodily changes are common to men and women alike. It’s just that many women seem to show signs earlier because they are blessed with the ability to give birth to a new life. Isn’t it amazing that women’s bodies are capable of creating a new life, nurturing it, giving birth to it, and feeding it?
Husbands body-shaming women during pregnancy and postpartum is so common in many households that it is normal among many couples. But that doesn’t mean it’s not problematic. This toxic habit is deeply embedded in our society, and it’s high time we address it.
Pregnancy is not a joke; it takes a toll on every woman’s physical and emotional health. New mothers require the same amount of love, attention, and care as their newborn child. Men need not worship their partner for going through all this, but being considerate to the woman who gave birth to their child is the least husbands can do. Is expecting men to appreciate and respect women too much to ask for?
Suggested Reading: Fat-Shaming Pregnant Women Isn’t Just Mean, It’s Harmful