We often find women stuck in unhappy marriages or bad long-term relationships which they are unable to come out of. Sometimes they aren’t able to figure out that things are going South and at other times they might know but tend to ignore the problems, scared to let go or end the relationship.
Toxic relationships are easy to find and it is very easy for people to preach the couple to find a way out of it. However, it is really difficult to actually end things in a long-term or serious relationship even after knowing that things are not working for you too. People often find themselves with what society will think or what will happen after they leave a person who they have spent a great deal of time with. They are skeptical about surviving alone, especially women, and hence often choose compromise rather than their happiness.
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Ending A Serious Relationship
A Reddit thread on @AskWomen asked the female users of the social media platform, “Women who are married/in “forever” relationships, how do you know if you’re just going through a rough couple of years or if your relationship isn’t working out?” Multiple users commented with signs like lack of respect, communication, responsibility, care, love or emotional and physical abuse. The signs of a failing relationship are often easier to spot than finding a solution or taking any step to rectify the situation.
In India, we usually see women being in toxic and abusive relationships for years and not saying a word in the fear of society. The world tells them they are not worth anything without a husband which makes them skeptical about whether they will ever survive their relationship. The humiliation and judgement stop them from taking any step despite knowing that their relationship is not healthy and this is not what they want.
Ending a marriage or long-term relationship while a woman is still young is relatively easier than ending your marriage in your 40s or beyond that. Society tells you that you have to compromise your own personal needs and wishes and live solely for your children or grandchildren. They tell you it’s too late to give up now and it is better to adjust. However, realising self-worth and your needs should not be restricted according to age. You can find flaws in a relationship at any age and you should not feel guilty for choosing your own self over the relationship at any age.
Dragging a failing relationship is not good for the man as well as the woman. It is better to make your own choices when it comes to what you want in the relationship and whenever you feel like there are unavoidable differences that you can’t overcome, you should not be scared to walk out of it just because of society’s rules. It is your relationship and you decide what you do with it.
Views expressed by author are their own