Dealing with self-rejection can be tricky and undermining since we thrive to become our "perfect" selves. However, tempting it might seem, self-rejection can hamper the mental health as well as one's idea of self. In the end, it's important to remember to be the "best" of one can be instead of running after perfection. Here are some ways of dealing with self-rejection which may help you to accept your present self.
Self-rejection is a form of self-sabotage people often resort to in order to achieve a sense of perfection. People who self-reject themselves often believe that they are not good enough or are not deserving of the things they have. They constantly attempt to be better and do better since they find it hard to accept their own selves the way they are.
While self-acceptance is an effective counter for it, dealing with self-rejection is not as easy as it may sound. It takes a lot of time, patience and confidence for people to understand that they should be thriving towards doing their best than being the perfect one. Self-acceptance is not a guaranteed cure for self-rejection. It merely helps one to accept their present self without being over-the-top critical about it and makes one self-aware while also being satisfied. It's not like it's a disease anyways, it is state of mind.
Here are some ways for dealing with self-rejection, which may also lead the way for self-acceptance:
The foremost step is to recognise your strengths and weaknesses and acknowledge them. Everybody has some good and bad qualities that doesn't necessarily mean you are not good enough.
Identify your fears
Not necessarily a phobia, but things you are skeptical about or are not confident enough. Your fears can be as big as hydrophobia and as minor as speaking up your heart. But it is not always important to conquer all of your fears, sometimes all it takes to make it better is acknowledgment.
Move through rejection
Stop holding yourself back just because your mind is telling "you can't" because who knows, you actually might. So if you want to get the girl you like, ask her out or if that job application is still sitting inside your drawer, go file it. Because life is too short for holding back. Stop pitying!
Start feeding your mind healthy content
No matter how many greens your diet may have, it won't matter as much if you are not feeding healthy diet to your mind as well. Just like the stomach, our mind too, feeds off the content we consume. Make a note to consume healthy and progressive content and stay out of toxic ones. A healthy mind harbours a healthy body.
Start saying I love you
Not just to the people you love, but to yourself as well. It's important to have self-love in order to self-accept. If you can't love yourself enough, you will never feel good enough about yourself. Take some time off to treat, pamper and care about yourself. Go on a spa day or cook a snack every once in a while, because you deserve it!
Let it out
It's important to let things out when they are pent up. Whether it is self-criticism or self-doubts, let them out before they cloud your judgment about yourself and make you feel worse. Open up to the people you trust, confide in them, because sometimes all we need is someone to just listen.
Appreciate what you do right
Instead of criticising yourself for always being the bad guy, turn over the perspective and start appreciating all the things you do right. A little pat on the back even by your own self can go a long way.
Use the "But I" technique
Whenever your intrusive thoughts tell that you didn't do a good job, remind yourself of the times you did great. It is important to understand that you cannot always be the best and there can be times when just can't do as good and it is absolutely fine. The next time your mind tells you, "You are the bad guy", snap back at it telling, "But I am not worse".
Suggested Reading: 8 Indian Women Discover Self Love, Here’s How They Made It Happen
What other things do you tell yourself for dealing with self-rejection? Tell us in the comments.
Views expressed by the author are their own.