Actor Dia Mirza Pregnant: She recently announced her pregnancy after two months of marriage. She announced this on social media and in no time the comment section under her post was filled with regressive judgements on the lines of “didn’t she just got married?” As if there is a rule that you can only get pregnant after a certain time period post marriage.
Most people raised in Indian households have at least one clear memory of aunties sitting in circles and judging a newly married couple for getting pregnant. Questions such as “were they sexually involved before marriage?”, ” Is it really his child?” and all sorts of muck is mentioned. While men are also targeted, most women face the brunt of such judgements because our society is still unable to blame women for anything and everything. With the widespread reach of the internet, the world is actually getting smaller and naturally, we get to see a lot of what is happening around the world.
Since desi people can’t stop obsessive over Hollywood celebrities, everything they do is considered “normal” and if the same things are done by Indians, we can always see a person saying “this is not in our culture”?
Pop stars and Hollywood actors such as Emma Stone, Halsey and model Gigi Hadid recently got pregnant with their unmarried partners and the internet was all for it.
It was for all the right reasons because marriage is not something everyone wants and if those people want to have kids, why should they be judged? The part is that Indians don’t get told this a lot of times. It gets worse when you are a public figure and everything about your life is considered worth dissecting.
The “Indian Culture”
First of all, what do we actually consider as “Indian Culture”? Is it treating women as second class citizens? Is it judging women for accepting their sexuality? Or is it straight up ignoring women’s desires? A lot of problematic practices have been normalised in our Indian society and has been slapped on with a label that says “Bharatiya Sanskriti” or Indian culture. If a woman wants to have premarital sex then who are others to judge her for it? What is actually disheartening is the fact men hardly get judged for having sex before marriage. They are often told to “sow their wild oats”.
Indian men very conveniently burden women with the responsibility of upholding the sacred Indian culture and sanskaars. They almost dehumanised to a point that they are expected to act like deities who were obviously created by male authors and historians. Women want to themselves, they can be messy, confusing and full of flaws. It is not our responsibility to carry with the unrealistic image of women.
The judging part has gone to a whole new level with the advent of social media. People almost forget that them spewing hate on social media is actually about a real person who might get affected by it. Posting hate comments under a pregnant woman’s picture who is delighted about motherhood and is excited to welcome her baby is simply inhuman.
Views expressed are author’s own