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35 Things Mothers Should Stop Feeling Guilty About

desi moms, motherhood, mothers feel guilty, mothers guilt
Are you fretting about what people think about you or do you find yourself thinking whether you are a good mom or not? In case, you hesitantly answer in a yes, you need to look this list like now! Mothers guilt

35 Things Mothers Should Stop Feeling Guilty About

Women get judged left and right for absolutely everything they do. Literally everything. Wanting kids, not wanting kids, wanting sex and not wanting sex, dating young and what not. But you know what log to kahenge hee cause logon ka kaam hai kehena…But you need to stand up for yourself behena

  1. The post-pregnancy belly fat or the flab is completely natural. Stop hating yourself for looking fat and don’t fall for the stereotype that fat is bad.
  2. It’s okay to have stretch marks, everyone does. It’s your body and don’t let anyone judge you over your stretch marks.
  3. Your personal life does not end after you become a mum, don’t be guilty about keeping certain things, chats, or relations private.
  4. Having a baby doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want sex. Normalise wanting to have sex. And don’t feel guilty if you have to hire a sitter or ask for the family to babysit while you hang out and have fun with your spouse.
  5. DO NOT dilute your identity to become a mother. You aren’t selfish, you want your me-time apart from your child.
  6. It’s completely cool to want to have a child of your own surname. Why should children always take their father’s name? They can legally take their mother’s name too while having a supportive father at the same time.
  7. Don’t fall for the myths and traditions which ask you to go against your own personal beliefs irrespective of how much they try to say that it’s good for your child. Remember that you are the mother and you know what’s best.
  8. It’s completely fine if you support your child when he/she denies hugging an uncle or aunt. Your child has her/his own personal space and if he/she doesn’t feel comfortable then it is completely fine to say no.
  9. For working moms, it is okay to prioritise your career over your child. Priorities are subjective and just because you have given birth to a baby, it doesn’t mean that you must force yourself to neglect your career.
  10. It’s okay to let your children study in boarding schools. There are types of parenting that work for different kinds of children. And if you feel that a boarding school will do justice for your child then no need to feel any guilt in that.
  11. Don’t feel guilty about being vocal towards the injustice or prejudice amongst in-laws.
  12. Stop suffocating under the perception that you’re not motherly enough.
  13. Don’t feel bad for making time for your pals and most importantly, and work friends.
  14. Masturbating is very common. And even if you are a mom and whatever your age may be, masturbating is something that no one should be guilty of.
  15. Don’t be stuck in a marriage for your children. It’s okay to quit toxic relationships with the biological father of your children.
  16. Many women are afraid of dating younger men only because of the social stereotypes prevailing around the love life of women. But know this, these stereotypes are baseless and should hold no significance in your life. So don’t worry about dating men younger than yourself.
  17. While being sexually active is completely fine, it is also fine to not want sex. It is your body and hence the choice is also completely your’s.
  18. Choosing to not want any more children is also fine. You are in charge of your body and not wanting to conceive again is completely your opinion and no, your spouse does not have a say whether you should get pregnant if you don’t want to.
  19. Similarly, the type of contraception you want is your choice. If you don’t want to pop pills every day and want your spouse to get a vasectomy instead then it’s fine too. In fact, the process of vasectomy is much simpler than contraception for women and hence more beneficial too.
  20. You need not make your children’s dabbas every day. You’re a mom, not a cook. It is completely fine if you have hired professionals for managing your children’s needs.
  21. Don’t feel guilty for wanting plastic surgery or changing any part of your body. But make sure you take this step for your own mental peace and not under any pressure.
  22. When comes to finances, as an independent woman, you must not feel guilty about earning more than your husband.
  23. And similarly, don’t feel bad about homemaking.
  24. Shop till your heart’s content and don’t flesh out regrets, it’s your money!
  25. It’s completely fine to vent out about your period cramps.
  26. Your body, your hair. You are not answerable to anyone about why you didn’t shave or why haven’t you done your eyebrows etc.
  27. Similarly, you don’t need to fret about what people would think if you don’t wear a bra.
  28. It’s okay to work and have a stay-at-home dad. You’re no less of a mother by choosing to work.
  29. Don’t pay heed to the prevailing rape culture which shames the survivor. Your dignity can not be stolen by anyone as it is not an object. Shame the abuser. Not yourself.
  30. It’s okay to cover up your face with the kind of makeup you love. In fact, you’re paying for all this expensive stuff then why take anyone’s opinion on it?
  31. And similarly, don’t feel guilty about not doing makeup either.
  32. Don’t listen to people when they judge you for being a woman who smokes and drinks. But beware that excessive smoking and drinking can be injurious to your health.
  33. Not wanting, children and becoming a dog mom is absolutely cool. Children are a choice, not an obligation and pets are very serious family members.
  34. Similarly, not wanting to get pregnant and adopting children is a great move that is good for the society too.
  35. And yes, you are a complete woman even if you don’t choose motherhood at all. Motherhood is a choice even if you are biologically fertile enough to conceive.

The views expressed are the author’s own.¬†


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