I Was In An Abusive Marriage For 10 Years. And Then...

Sarla struggled in her abusive marriage for 10 years. She then decided to take steps for herself. Here's her story:

"About 12 years back I was really young when my parents arranged a groom for me. We didn’t have enough money with what he earned so I took up the job of cooking. He used to drink alcohol frequently and when he saw me earning enough for us to sustain he left his job and started day drinking.

He used to beat me up for money to buy his drinks. When I conceived my daughter after 5 years I thought this will change him. But things just got worse. I couldn’t even leave my daughter alone with him when I would go to work because he would often end up taking her to the places he would have alcohol at a couple of times she was hurt after he dropped her when returning home intoxicated.

Suggested Reading: Can We Stop Blaming Women For Staying In Abusive Marriages?

My daughter would see him beat me up and use abusive language towards me and that would scare her a lot.

Riddhi was 5 years old when one day she said, ‘mujhe yaha nahi rehna hain, nana ke paas jana hai’. Listening to that, I knew I had to leave this man, for the safety of my daughter. For all the 10 years of our marriage, he was an alcoholic and physically abusive. I never told my parents about it because I did not want them to worry about me.

When I left him and went to my parents' house they asked me to go back and told me that a woman in society has respect only when she has a husband and not when she’s alone.

But I knew that I could fend for myself and my daughter and didn’t need anyone’s help. My daughter is now 7 years old and I often have to leave her alone at home while I go to work. But she understands that we are both in a better place now and I need to work for a better future for us.

There are thousands of other women out there who are keeping mum just for the sake of their kids because they think they are not capable enough to survive on their own. But I want to tell them that they are capable and can fend for themselves and I hope they have the courage to move ahead."

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