Rescued By A Feminist: Saloni Chopra's Book Is A Guide To Build A Feminist Generation

"Feminism to me is an act of survival instinct,” says actor and writer Saloni Chopra who rose to fame with her work in TV series MTV Girls on Top. Australia-born Indian actress Chopra has always been outspoken about patriarchal issues, women’s rights and the need of feminism to empower women of today. She has often been in news for voicing protest against social evils like slut-shaming, rape, abuse, restricting women’s sexuality, etc. Chopra is also known for raising voice against Sajid Khan and Zain Durrani in the #MeToo movement and accusing them of sexual harassment and abuse.         

She is back with another discourse on feminism that is bound to shatter many stereotypes and prejudices about women, society and myths. Chopra recently published her first book titled, Rescued by a Feminist: An Indian fairy tale of equality and other myths. Embedded with opinion pieces, personal anecdotes and humour, the book explores various topics like feminism in modern society, gender roles, a retelling of fairy tales, love, family and beauty among others. Here are excerpts from a conversation on Saloni Chopra's book.

1. What was the inspiration behind Saloni Chopra's book?

So many things. I wanted other womxn / women to know that they're not alone. They're not losing their minds when they think that the society we live in is unfair. Hundreds of womxn reach out to me, telling me their stories of abuse, the gaslighting, the trauma they receive daily. My life changed when I moved to India as a young woman, and I wish there was a book back then to tell me that it wasn't my fault. I wish there was a book, to remind me that it's okay to stand up for myself. I want to try and make sure that more women in India don't feel that isolated and alone. I want her to know her fears, her desires, her dreams, her ambitions and her orgasms, are all real.

2. What does feminism mean to you?

Feminism to me is an act of survival instinct. It's my basic human rights, it's the "radical notion that women are people" as Cheris Kramarae said. I disagree that to be a feminist you have to be an activist. We're all feminists if we believe in basic human rights and the fact that womxn deserve equity and equality. I think it's unfair to say that feminism is something only activists can practice in. All men seem to fight for their every day rights, but somehow it takes an activist to talk about womxn's rights? We're setting ourselves up to fail. I believe we can all be feminists by simply acknowledging that society gives more privilege to men when rights should actually be distributed equally.

Feminism to me is also a threat to the place men hold in this world today, as it should be (refer to Chapter 1 of my book, Men, womxn and our apples). Feminism shakes the system and makes their earth quake. Feminism challenges and breaks down the patriarchy, and so of course, a lot of people are petrified. Let's face it, most people don't want their power to be taken away. But this power harms men too. This power sets unrealistic standards for men as well as womxn. There is a lot we need to learn and unlearn, beginning with the fact that we need to stop putting human beings in little labelled boxes. Let boys wear pink, let girls kick balls, let human beings grow up to be the best of their potential - whatever that potential may be. 

3. As the title of your book suggests, can feminists be the harbinger of a better future and society? How? 

Absolutely. I think for starters, we need to stop seeing feminism as a bad thing. Just because it is a threat to the power men hold, doesn't mean that they're benefiting from that power at all. We need to raise more young girls with self-respect, and raise more boys as feminists so that we can start having more conversations about equality and human rights. About unpaid labour being recognised and how much the economy would benefit if we acknowledged the hours that womxn spend doing unpaid work. We need to discuss paternity leave, mental health, education, disabilities and poverty, we need to talk about the gender data gap and how the whole world is suffering because we lack gender-based data. There are so many things that take a back seat, simply because we fail to raise a generation to be feminist.

4. Is feminism a personal or a political concept? Why?

It's funny you ask because it makes me think of the "personal is political" movement in the '60s. Feminism is both. Far too often people think that all the issues womxn have, such as their roles as housewives, mothers, childcare, sex, rights over their body are all personal issues. Personal is political. Unpaid labour, childcare, caretaker duties, age care, lack of opportunities to education and equal rights are issues the government should be accountable and answerable for. However, it's funny how often womxn are shunned down and told that "this is your personal matter" even though we have turned women's bodies into political playgrounds. From our breasts, nudity laws, sexual freedom, our brothels to our reproductive rights, everything is up for debate and controlled in politics. Yet when it comes to the things they should be implementing and changing, like our basic rights, it suddenly becomes a household issue. Feminism is personal, and personal is political.

5. Do you think myths and fairy tales lack female narratives? Which is your favourite feminist mythical character?

I am perpetually appalled at how we treated our goddesses and the sacrifices they were expected to make in order to prove their loyalty in our stories. How we have forever glorified the sacrifices made by goddesses, mothers, wives and all great women. I say this in my book too, but we tend to run with this narrative that good womxn sacrifice. We teach little girls that in order to be appreciated, loved, valued, applauded or respected, they must sacrifice everything they are and cater to the man. It's disturbing.

The reason my book is called "Rescued by a Feminist" is that I think we need new / better fairytales. We need to start telling young children stories of princesses who save themselves instead of waiting for a "hero" to save them. We need to remind young women to be the hero of their own story. We need stories of womxn, written by womxn themselves instead of always a story that the man wants to tell, and we really truly need to start writing fairy tales where the princess rescues the prince - and these princesses are not always white as snow, or sleeping as beauties, or cis, or heterosexual. Neither are they always tall and skinny and hairless everywhere apart from their head.

So I guess the answer to your question, is that I don't have a favourite (yet) :)

6. How can we change the way we understand and the way we retell the myths and fairy tales to kids? 

I think while ranting away I already answered this above in the last paragraph... and I wrote a whole chapter about it in my book too, but we need to stop glorifying the sacrifices womxn make, and we need to start giving women more credibility when they raise their voice. Our narratives need to involve more women at a ground level.

I want to try and make sure that more women in India don't feel that isolated and alone. I want her to know her fears, her desires, her dreams, her ambitions and her orgasms, are all real - Saloni Chopra's Book

7. Does society still consider feminism and equality as unreal prospects?  

Society seems to think that we already have equality - which is how tragic this is. "But look how many of you are in live in relationships... girls drink and smoke and wear shorts... they are CEOS... what more do you want?" Oh I don't know, the same (and more) as men do?

Society is made up of men, and womxn that are often enablers of patriarchy, and together they do not see men and womxn as equals, let alone deserving of equity. Society, I don't think often even understands equity. Blinded by culture and upbringing, we are often too consumed by traditional values to accept that feminism is the need of the hour. But the thing is, Tradition is too lazy an excuse to keep torturing and abusing womxn. It needs to stop.

8. Why is it important for women to share anecdotes and be vocal about their opinions?

 

Because if we don't share our stories, then the world will only know the stories of us told my men. In most of those stories, we are either manic, psychotic, crazy, chronically depressed, insecure, or we're on the opposite spectrum - we are hot, sexy, gorgeous, unattainable, perfect and flawless. Not to say that women can't be depressed or be hot, but I am tired of seeing one-dimensional portrayals of womxn where we are either, OR. I want to see the layers of our personalities and lives be told better.

Womxn need to share their stories also because as a girl in her mid-twenties, I didn't realise just how misogynist my world was. For years, I continued to believe that a man who was hitting me every day, was the victim while I, was the problem. I didn't know any better because we do not have books, stories, shows, movies, or platforms actively telling us that it's not our fault. We go from our parents knowing what's best for us, to the men we marry knowing better.

Men however, have it all. Men have a whole history of "man kind" to tell them they are right, they are enough. While womxn are actively told to take up less space every day - emotionally, physically, mentally and vocally. I wish as a young womxn I had a place to read anecdotes or opinions of womxn and their experiences... I wish I wasn't so lost and alone. I wish I wasn't surrounded by men who intentionally and unintentionally, injected the narrative that their acts of abuse was my fault.

It's about time we change that for the women to come. Leave notes and reminders for them to know that they're not on their own. Make a little trail. We have the platforms, we have the voices, we have the women, now all we have to do is make history.

9. What message would you like to give to women aspiring to be writers or actors? 

To writers: write down everything, everything that happens to you. Your stories, your feelings, your experiences, the conversations you have and the pain you feel, your emotions, your relationship - it is all yours to share. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't share something that's a part of your experience. Write it all down. If not to publish, then for yourself. Always know that words are extremely powerful... words are the reason that you and I are here today, as we are. Art doesn't always pay your bills, so make sure you have other things that will.

As for my actors, well, I hope that you and I can one day create an industry where we don't have to be expected to sell our souls and our bodies to do roles that aren't even half of our worth. I hope someday, we can create an industry where the womxn that are on top, are given credibility for speaking up against the abuse, the casting couch, the inequality, and are actually encouraged to speak up instead of being forced to stay silent. Until then, there is so much more to do, we must get back to work.