#Personal Stories

Women can be ‘controlled’ and talked into…

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Women can be controlled…women can be talked into doing things. Since ages, society has been defining what roles men and women have to play, not only in professional life but also in personal sphere as well. Women are bound to perform certain tasks throughout their life, because it is their responsibility.

This is where the problem starts, when they are small girls they are tied to a particular personality trait which is being ‘obedient’. It is anticipated that women as a gender is more emotional, and thus can be easily manipulated into what their respective family wants.

One day, while talking about someone in our acquaintance my aunt was praises about how good and nice that family’s son was. She went on talking but a certain line caught my attention, she said-“It’s very nice of that boy to go on a trip with his parents, otherwise boys these days don’t do such things they have their own plans. Girls can be talked into family things like these but it is difficult to persuade boys so young!” A statement made very casually, but still stereotypical in so many senses. I began to question, although I had no issue with my family for applauding that boy, what hit me in my mind was how easily it was pre-assumed that girls are not capable of even putting forward their choice. 

Never in my life have I heard anyone talking about a girl and saying that it’s commendable that she went with her family to a trip or spends time with her family. No, because they are ‘expected’ to do so, it is natural for them. But when boys do things like these which are considered so ‘normal’ for girls to do, they are made to believe that they have done something extraordinary and in some cases make it look like they are doing some kind of a favour particularly among adolescent boys, who tend to stay away from their families. This does not stop here, it carries forward to the time when men and women start to build their carrier, move ahead in life. Again the cycle of gender stereotypical behaviour comes back to where it left. Working women sparing out time to be with their kids, coming home and cooking, doing household chores, all of this despite working for long hours at office is all considered very regular and accustomed for them. On the other hand people tend to be in complete awe of men doing even one of the above mentioned tasks which are conventionally assigned to women as their duty. 

Where do we lack behind? The problem is there is a thought lying in the back of our mind that women are easy, and can be easily under control. Whereas men, they are just free and outrageous. The thinking that ‘boys are boys!’ needs to change, and this can only be possible if look at men and women as humans and not as he or she, because once this distinction begins the whole algorithm changes. Parents need to appreciate their children for spending time with them, rather of just being all thankful for their boys behaving the way girls have been since ages. In scenarios like these people need to put away their gendered lenses, this way we can learn to appreciate people equally.

Views expressed are author’s own. If you have a view or a story to share, send it to [email protected]


 

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