#Personal Stories

Does not taking a ‘Palla’ makes a woman unsanskaari?

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How We Normalise Mother-in-law Harassment of Bahus | My Personal Story. I got married a year back and all I have experienced is that a son and daughter-in-law are not same.

There is a myth that mother-in-laws (MIL) can treat daughter-in-laws as daughters. In fact man and woman in a marriage set up are never treated equal. For a year I was the working woman in the family while my husband was struggling rather I would say wasting time on his unrealistic dreams. But did that change anything? No.

Who was expected to return from office and cook meals? Me. The woman. My MIL is so conservative that she doesn’t want us to have a maid as she believes taking care of the house is “woman’s duty.” So here I am in a situation where neither does my MIL cook nor can we hire someone to do this. I have been hearing things like “Maa baap ko beti ke ghar ka nahi khana chaiye” and “Bahu ko relatives ke ghar jakar kitchen sambhalna chaiye“.

When my husband started working it was okay for him to relax on weekends but I had to cook, wash and clean on my days off. Why is this okay and acceptable? I was called un-sanskaari for raising my voice but my husband was never called out for coming home at 4 in the morning completely drunk. I was constantly reminded of hiding my face from elders and taking palla as it is un-sanskari if a woman doesn’t keep palla on her head. I was asked to wear bangles and put a bindi because if I don’t follow these traditions my husband will not have a long life.

Why do we have adhere to such drastic beliefs? When will things change for India’s women? And when will they really change for India’s bahus?

It’s because of this reason, this harassment that until today I never called my MIL Mummy, Maa or Mother as I never got any Love or affection from her. I hate her and my married life because it demands me to behave like a bahu and not me.

Views expressed are the author’s own and not of the platform. SheThePeople invites womxn across the world to share their opinions on issues that matter to them, that bother them, that they feel strongly about. Share it with [email protected]

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Does not taking a ‘Palla’ makes a woman unsanskaari?
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