'Mean Girls' Was About High-School Teens; But The Workplace Has Its Own Biases

This is coming from a person who is a feminist and shouldn’t say such things, but here, I will say this: “Working in an all-female team is like staying at a mental institution.” There are certain movies all around us that show us how women can be, and Mean Girls is not simply about some high school-going women; these bullies are also present at corporate offices. 

Oh! Those six women

So, the aggression in these offices is surely passive, but the toll it takes on your mental health is hell. Let me tell you about myself. I worked in a small office a couple of years ago with six women. They all were beautiful and intelligent in their own little ways. There were times someone lagged behind in work, and we as a team became responsible for completing all the tasks on time for her. Rather than owning up to the mistakes on her side, she went on casually with her I-don’t-give-a-f**k attitude.

This was only one of a kind, and it created an underlying tension within the group. Despite her carefree demeanour, we all knew that teamwork relied on accountability, and her lack of it tested our patience and morale. Another one: she was so competitive, I always thought if I didn’t do better than her, I wouldn’t be able to survive here. So, I did try to do better than her, and it only ended me with more work (definitely not worth my salary). Another one always ranted about her life, and I found myself silent, unable to say, “Oh! Shut up, Kavya, no one cares about your bf.”

One thing about women is that they love you; they would compliment you, and things would turn out totally different behind your back. I believe women are more judgmental of the women they work with. Every corner of the room is filled with bitchiness, and each one of you feels like you’re the victim. I might be writing this right now because I feel I was a victim. Women in that one room are intense, antagonistic, and cliquey. 

I wish I could say that it’s young women in their 20s who participate in such nonsense, but this applies to all women, across every age, in the office. As I said, there is bitchiness everywhere, so everyone is a bitch to one another. I personally prefer to work in a place where there is at least one man to balance out the estrogen levels in the room. I would even like to say I pretty much hate working in an office; it feels like a cage, and that is a completely different abuse. The whole point is that having a male around in your space can reduce the abrasive scheming, and the women might get an opportunity to flirt with them to calm down their nerves. 

I am one of those people who like to end things face-to-face, and these people with such passive-aggressive behaviour try to sabotage the place and spread rumours. They even make sure that you end up alone in the office and no one talks to you. It might seem funny to read it right now, but this office drama is mind-boggling.

So, does it make me anti-feminist?

I personally don’t think so. These women I talked about above are difficult to deal with, but each one of them came with baggage of their own. I was surely not carrying anyone’s baggage, but I tried to respect that in every possible way. Peace was surely a seasonal thing in that office, but one constant thing was the fact that women stood up for others when others raised questions. In a way, we all were feminists when it came to our team, but only we know the inside chaos.

But from now on, I do not want to work in an all-female team. And I also know that this does not automatically make you an anti-feminist. Sometimes, our preferences can stem from many factors, which can include past experiences, personality fit, work style, or even perceptions shaped by previous team dynamics. 

Feminism does not mean always preferring women

Feminism is about equality of opportunity, respect, and choice and not about favouring women in every scenario. I prefer a mixed-gender team because here, valuing diversity in perspectives or balance in dynamics is valid and doesn’t contradict feminist principles.

There were times I used to ask myself, “Are my reasons based on stereotypes?”, such as women being so emotional or competitive. I even thought, “Do they think of me in the same manner?”

I know my reasoning was not based on bias, so being an anti-feminist was totally out of the picture. Feminism includes the freedom to express discomfort, critique group dynamics, and seek environments where one thrives. I can now openly say that I support gender equality and still do not feel my best in an all-women team, just like someone might not feel comfortable in an all-men team either. I guess it would be that simple. 

Views expressed by the author are their own.