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Success is a very complex idea. Ideally, it should be subjective but in our society success is measured through comparison. It doesn’t matter what a person feels about their achievement. An achievement is considered valid only if it surpasses those of others. But do we understand the consequence of comparing life and achievements with others? Do we understand how important it is for a person to feel proud about their success? Do we even know what success means?
Every person in our society is different. They have different struggles, priorities and dreams. But our society homogenises every person’s life by setting a single benchmark of success. Something similar is happening to me too.
Recently, I applied for PhD at a University. I hadn’t planned on it. It was a sudden and random decision. Not that I don't want to complete my PhD, but I didn’t think about doing it all of a sudden. My friend too applied for it. And now I am supposed to submit my research proposal in the next 2-3 days. I am a working woman with different priorities while my friend is solely determined about completing her PhD. Moreover, I am going through a rough phase of my life as I am struggling with depression, bipolarity and PTSD since last year. My life is so unpredictable because I don’t know when I hit the low phase of my bipolarity when it is difficult for me to live through a day without crying. In all this, I have been blaming myself for not writing my research proposal, especially because my friend has already completed it. From every corner, I am being advised to start working on my proposal while personally being overwhelmed by an emptiness in my mind and heart.
However, on second thought I want to forgive myself for comparing my life with someone else’s. I want to teach myself that my priorities and struggles are different from others. And I can’t expect everyone to understand that difference. But a question always arises in my mind- do I really owe an explanation about my struggles and priorities in life?
It must have happened with you too. Haven’t you heard people comparing students from entirely different backgrounds? Haven’t you seen how certain students’ success and devotion are set as the benchmark? No matter how much a student works hard, if they don’t meet that benchmark they are not valued. A good example of this is the reservation system. Even though a reservation is provided to students from a lower caste, their success is measured with that of upper-caste people.
When it comes to measuring success and failure, our society is notorious for ignoring the different life struggles people face. It views every person through a single lens. A person is valued only when they succeed. Otherwise, they just remain the old dusty pot in the corner of the house that is neglected by the human sight that always looks for something fascinating. Even if a person succeeds in life, their success is valued only when it is more than others. It doesn’t matter how much a person devoted and worked hard for achieving that.
Is it right to ignore a person’s hard work? Is it right to compare their life and success with others? If a person’s life is compared with others, wouldn’t the person feel dejected? Would that person ever value themselves? If a person keeps comparing themselves with others, will they ever understand the idea of not overworking and stretching themselves beyond their limit?
I am not saying that there is a limit to working hard. Just today I read about a girl cracking CAT despite suffering from Cerebral Palsy. But if hard work is compared, a person will never be able to value it. And if a person doesn’t value their hard work, it can affect their &t=1s">mental health as they try to imitate others’ devotion ignoring the fact that there is a fine line of difference between two people’s lives and metabolism. The competition should never be with other people but with oneself. A person should always value their success and their hard work and try to be better next time. Success is about defying our own limits and not of others.
Views expressed are the author's own.