Dear Annoying Relatives, My Shaadi Is NOT Your Responsibility

My marriage may be your responsibility, but guess what else was your responsibility?

Vanshika Swami
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I can’t be the only one blessed with annoying relatives who keep poking their noses in our lives. Oh, and how can we forget the sudden amount of love these relatives feel for us when it comes to our marriage. You don’t turn 21 completely, and these aunties will come with rishtas for you. “We care for you, beta. And you are aged now. If not now, when will you marry? Don’t you want to settle down and start a family?” NO, Aunty. What if I say no? What if I say I want to settle my career and I have different goals for my future, and I see myself on a conference table and not on the kitchen table, will you understand? And what if I say My Shaadi Is NOT Your Responsibility?


The problem with these relatives is that they never showed up in our entire life, but when it comes to marriage, they’ll be the first ones showing up. Wait, do I even know you?!

These are the same relatives who won’t wish us luck before an exam, but will ask for the results, and how can they resist themselves from filling our mom's ears by comparing our marks with someone else. Moreover, these are the same relatives who never checked upon us, never bothered to ask “Dear, How are you? Are you happy?” They never wanted to discuss our goals, or help us with our plans. Most, or all my relatives never lend me a hand when I asked them for help in my darkest times, and all of sudden, there is a huge amount of love and concern overflowing for me. What’s cooking, Auntie?

My marriage may be your responsibility, but guess what else was your responsibility? To help me fight the times I fought alone, to comfort me with your warm hugs when I told you I was depressed, to guide me the right path when I counted on you, and to assure me that I was more than just a girl who would live happily ever after with my husband. No offence to these annoying relatives, but when they didn’t show up in our bad times, why bother us in our good times?

Dear relatives, I needed your support in far better and important things, I can choose my partner by myself.

Dear relatives, all I want to say is, please look beyond marriage for your daughters. If you really care for us, show it to us in the little things, and not only when it comes to marriage. Listen to us when we want to speak, comfort us when we fight with our parents, support, and guide us for our careers, be our friends, and have liberal conversations with us. And if you can’t, please respect the difference in our perspectives and don’t discuss marriage until we ourselves are ready for it.

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